#even normal speed pe i can barely understand

[girlivealwaysbean]

i think my brain is frozen

[infinites-chaser]

under a golden sun | mlqc | gavin/mc | 2nd person POV | bittersweet fluff

spoilers for gavin’s campus date and his unreleased basketball date 

You and Gavin spend the summer together alongside Minor and his new obsession with basketball.

(Somehow, the summer breeze feels cooler when Gavin's nearby.)

The sun is low and golden by the time you and Gavin leave Loveland High. He’s about to make his way to the parking lot when you put a hand on his arm.

“Wait,” you say. “There’s one more place I want to visit before we go.”

There’s a basketball court a little behind the school, across the campus from the track. Beside it, always shielding half from the sun, stands an old ginkgo tree.

The you from seven years ago, and Minor, and later, Gavin, pass it every afternoon on the walk home after school. Every afternoon, Minor lingers outside it until the ginkgo tree’s shadow covers nearly three-quarters of the court, gripping the chain-link fence and swearing he’ll join the NBA one day, if only for Steph Curry.

You, already used to this routine, patiently remind him of the homework you two should be starting on soon.

But then Gavin starts walking back with you, and your easy-going two becomes an awkward three. When Minor stops to stare at the court, Gavin asks you why. It’s probably one of the first times he’s ever addressed you directly, and you stiffen, just a little, under his hard amber gaze.

“He wants to join the NBA?” Your nervousness turns the answer into a question.

“I see.”

Gavin scoffs a little, and the conversation’s over.

You pout when his eyes leave yours-- you don’t want to make trouble, he’s well, famous, for a reason or maybe two (his fists) and you’d rather not be on the opposite end of those anytime soon, no matter how much Minor clearly idolizes him.

(Thinking back to when you first met him, you really had no idea he’d have such an impact on your life.)

The first time Minor invites you out to play basketball with him, when you get to the court behind Loveland High, you nearly turn and run. Gavin’s with him. Of course. You really should’ve guessed, seeing how close the two were at the end of the school year. It doesn’t really make you want to run away any less.

Before your fight-or-flight instinct’s flight kicks in, though, a gentle breeze sends ginkgo leaves floating past you, and you remember more than the rumors, you remember a rainy afternoon without an umbrella, a wet kitten, and a boy’s jacket flung over your head-- by the time you went to move it, all you could see of him was that his ears were a bright red. You remember Minor falling into his seat next to you during lunch, a bruise on his cheek though his eyes were bright, his hushed whisper of “Gavin saved me,” and the boy himself pulling up a chair at your table with an awkward cough. You remember how he’d started walking with you and Minor, and no one had bothered either of you on the way to and from the school for the rest of the school year.

You’re still a little apprehensive, but maybe he’s not so bad, after all, you tell yourself. Maybe. But at the end of the day, you don’t really know him, not even from the walks back home after school, for better or for worse.

“Gavin’s here to play, too!” Minor calls to you with a wide grin as he runs over, oblivious to your conflicted thoughts. “He’s really good!”

Then, over his shoulder: “Aren’t you, bro?”

Gavin shrugs from where he’s leaning against the fence, just on the edge of the shade, the picture of boredom. He’s decked out in a dark hoodie and jeans you don't quite understand how he can wear under the summer sun. And, not that you’re in any place to judge what people wear to play basketball, but--

“I’m not playing.”

He closes his eyes as Minor starts to complain, and for all intents and purposes, seems to go to sleep right there on the spot. In lieu of getting Gavin to play with him, Minor tries to teach you to shoot, and you indulge him, and try not to wince too hard every time he tosses the ball in your direction.

The thing is, you’re actually a little afraid of basketball. You’re sure it’s just slipped Minor’s mind-- it had been a big deal at the beginning of the year that you’d desperately tried to get everyone to forget throughout the course of PE, but a boy had hit you with a basketball ‘by mistake,’ and you’d heard him laughing about it with his friends at lunch that very same day.

Sure, that doesn't stop one of your classmates from dragging you out to one of the school's basketball games, and maybe you'd thought the last dunk by that one player had looked downright dreamy, but neither Minor or Gavin need to know that. And since Gavin doesn't give any indication he'll be playing, let alone moving for the rest of the afternoon, you don't really mind playing with Minor, even if every shot you attempt misses.

Minor's far from what you'd call a good teacher, but his enthusiasm and genuine love for basketball is infectious. You take it all in good stride, laughing when the ball arcs at least two feet below the hoop, cheering when Minor makes a three-pointer, then chasing after the rebound when his next shot bounces off the backboard. You're exhausted by the time the summer sun's directly overhead, and you're about to call out to Minor that you're going to take a break when it happens.

Maybe it's the glare, or the way your vision's gone a little fuzzy from the exertion, your reaction speed slowed by a few precious milliseconds, but--

A basketball barrels towards you, and you freeze, can't even think to put your hands in front of your face or even move, all you can do is flinch back, screwing your eyes shut, prepared for the coming painful impact. It never comes.

You open your eyes to Gavin's scowl, his angry gaze directed over your head at a fervently apologizing Minor. The basketball bounces across the court in the opposite direction, then clatters to a stop against the fence under the ginkgo tree's spreading branches.

It takes your brain a long second to catch up.

Gavin protected you?

The thought's absurd, even to your heat-addled brain. And yet--

He looks down at you, his amber gaze softening a little, and the sight warms your cheeks. And maybe your heart flutters, just a little.

"You all right?"

"I- I'm okay."

You manage a shaky smile up at Gavin, and he stiffens a little, then steps away from you quickly, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. He clears his throat.

"Watch out, yeah?"

You swallow and nod, missing the reddened tips of his ears, the way his gaze tracks to yours, then darts away.

After that afternoon, Minor doesn't ask you to play with him. He gives you no less than five separate apologies, offers to pay for dinner that day, and ice cream, too, but you laugh it off, and try not to think about how close Gavin had been when he'd blocked the basketball, how his soft amber gaze had made your heart pound just a little faster.

To occupy your time, you wheedle a DSLR out of your father, and take to carrying it around, thick strap around your neck, the camera itself cradled protectively to your chest save for the moments you work up the courage to lift the viewfinder to your eye and snap a photo. At first, you think they'll just tease you, and Minor does, and you blush and screw the lens cap back on, the camera sitting in the crook of your arms, unused, as you watch him play.

It gets easier, over the course of the summer, after you sit through many an afternoon in the hazy heat where it's clear Minor now only cares about perfecting his layup and trying reverses, and Gavin, well, doesn't care. He leans against the fence instead of playing and tries to get Minor to miss -- you laugh at some of his funnier jibes and maybe his eyes linger a little longer on your grin, on your smile when Minor's complaining and chasing a rebound, but, well, that's his secret to keep.

You try to capture Minor's hoops. The photos start out frustratingly blurry, and you try to remember what your father taught you about all of the buttons, the aperture, the shutter speed, the ISO. You fiddle. The camera clicks. Gavin takes to peering over your shoulder while Minor tries shots, and you try shooting him. He never says much, just expresses a casual interest, gives you the occasional encouragement, and normally, you would feel pressured, but your shots improve along with Minor's.

(And somehow, the summer breeze feels cooler when Gavin's nearby.)

"Look," Gavin says, once, from behind you, and your fingers stutter on the camera shutter. The picture comes out blurry.

"Gavin!"

You turn to him with a scowl, ready to scold him for ruining your shot, but. Words fail you. He's close. Closer than you'd thought.

Vaguely, your brain registers a single fact: his face is a few bare inches from yours. Also: his surprisingly shy smile. The soft, startled look in his eyes.

An orange butterfly floats up in the space between him and you, its wings beating in time with your accelerating heart.

Both of your faces redden moments later, and you pull back, nearly tripping over your own feet as you come out of your crouch.

"I, uh, wanted to show you," Gavin says belatedly, eyes fixed on the ground, cheeks still dark, a little gruff. "It landed on me."

He clears his throat and makes to stand up. His eyes dart back to you, and he says, softer, while they linger:

"Thought it was pretty."

Another day, Gavin brings a book and settles down next to your usual seat under the shade of the ginkgo tree.

"What're you reading?"

You peer over his shoulder, or at least, you try your best to, catching a glimpse of constellations traced out across the night sky.

"Nothing," he mutters, shoving the book behind him before you can read any more, his ears faintly red.

"You like astronomy?"

"I said it was nothing," he repeats, but his ears burn a little redder. You smile.

"What's your favorite constellation? Mine's actually not a constellation, but I really like the Milky Way. Because of Double Seventh. And Zhinu and Niulang, it's probably really typical of me to say so, but I think their story's really romantic. Even if it's really sad, too."

You pause. Gavin's silent. Heat rises to your cheeks-- you realize you've been rambling.

"Sorry!" You blurt. "I got carried away--"

"I like Jupiter," he says before you can continue, finally meeting your eyes, gaze warm and steady. "Jupiter and how it always protects the moon."

One afternoon hotter than all the days before, you arrive at the court to the sound of raised voices. Minor's there, his fists raised, glaring hard at three sneering boys. At the sight of their faces, your blood runs cold. They go to Loveland High school too. In fact, if you remember properly, Minor had told you one time that the tallest one used to bully him in middle school.

By the looks of it, they'd seen Minor playing alone and had thought to make fun of him-- and the leader had paid in kind, there's the beginnings of what looks like a bruise forming around his left eye.

"Minor!" You call, before the rising tension can get any worse. You know it's a mistake the minute their gazes turn to you. The tall bully's sneer widens, and the way his eyes rove you makes you want to turn and run away. You'd taken to wearing short skirts and tank tops, not to be cute for anyone in particular, though it had been gratifying to think that someone might've seen and admired you, but this just makes you feel gross in a way you can't quite explain.

"So you're tight with Loveland High's Princess," the bully says, and the feeling you have worsens, a pit in your stomach that won't stop growing.

"Little lady, why don't you hang out with some real men for a change, how 'bout it?"

He addresses you with a smirk.

"Leave Minor alone!"

"Yeah?" He reaches for your arm, and you yank it away, heart racing-- even though Minor looks ready and willing to fight, and maybe he could win, but there's three of them, and you don't want Minor to get hurt--

"Let's go on a date, alright? Just the one, and I'll leave Minor-boy alone."

He reaches for your arm again, and you pull out of his reach, cheeks burning with anger.

"Stop it!" You cry, and Minor's moved to your side, eyes flashing, giving you the courage to glare a little harder.

"You can't just throw your weight around and expect people to go along with it!"

The bully shrinks back. His two followers look ready to run. You blink, then try to glare even harder. They all whiten.

Then, from behind you, low and angry:

"Scram." Gavin.

Relief floods through you, and you exhale a breath you hadn’t known you’d been holding as the bullies run, and you turn to Gavin with a smile.

“Gavin, you saved us!”

His hard amber gaze softens under yours, and he gives you the smallest of smiles back before his eyes move to Minor.

“Hey, are you okay?”

The other boy nods wordlessly. Gavin claps him on the back.

“You got a good punch in. Don’t worry about them. If they ever come back, we can rough them up again.”

“Yeah. It’s nothing, though. Don’t worry about it.”

Minor sounds surprisingly dispassionate, and you blink up at him, but he turns away before you can properly read his expression, crossing the court to get his basketball.

He spends the rest of the afternoon practicing cheerfully without a shred of anger. You try to cheer him on normally from the shade of a nearby ginkgo tree and Gavin does the same, alternating between feigning boredom, poking fun or offering unhelpful advice.

"Minor," he says seriously, as the other boy attempts a lay-up for the fifth time. "I could just beat them up for you."

Minor scowls. The ball misses, and you spring up to chase after it as it bounces to the other side of the court, though you still hear his response.

"You don't need to do that, bro, I already told you, it's seriously no big deal!"

It's too-loud, too-perky.

Gavin doesn't speak again that afternoon, but his strong gaze never quite leaves Minor's panting form, except to throw you a glance every so often, when you laugh, huff, or frown. When the sun’s about to sink below the tops of the trees, he bids you a quick goodbye, casting a last look at Minor, who continues to dribble in the fading light.

It’s only when Gavin’s gone that Minor sinks to his knees, letting the ball roll free. He sighs heavily and takes the water bottle you offer him.

"I hate him," Minor says suddenly with a viciousness that startles you, a steady quiet burning anger at the bully that keeps your gaze to the ground-- you know, if you look up, you'll see the tears in his eyes.

"So what if I take care of how I look-- he's probably never looked in a mirror in his life.”

Then, quieter still: "So what if I think Fan Bing Bing is cute and Steph Curry, too? Fuck him."

"Minor--" you start, voice trembling, and reach to pat him on the shoulder. You don't know what to say, don't know what you could say. You'd heard rumors before, awful, vicious things people'd said behind his back that surely he'd heard and kept smiling still, but this feels different, to hear it from him, to see him lose control like this.

He shrugs out of your weak grasp and leaves before you can say a word.

The next day, you get to the court earlier than usual. To your surprise, someone’s already there, practicing their free throws. You sigh. You suppose it makes sense that Minor’s been practicing on his own-- you’re sure he’s still upset, and well, he has every right to be, you just wish he’d talk to you instead of practicing until his arms are sure to fall off--!

You’re about to call out to him and say as much to him out loud, but the player whirls, you catch a glimpse of his face in profile and you realize, you’re not watching Minor play, you’re watching Gavin.

There's a passion in his eyes you've never seen before, some softly burning fire, and when his shots go in, you think you see him grin. He looks somehow relaxed, in a way he never seems when Minor’s practicing, and you think it suits him, he looks more natural, more settled when he's in motion. Even if it's just him shooting baskets and catching the rebounds, he makes it look effortless.

As you watch him shoot, mesmerized, you suddenly remember another time-- an evening during the school year, when you’d been tasked with cleaning the gym up once basketball practice was over.

Even though you'd never liked basketball, somehow you’d always ended up with cleaning duty the days basketball practice was in session.

You’d peeked through the gymnasium’s doors, thinking it would be empty and quiet, but barely visible from where you stood just outside the doorway had been Gavin, playing alone, several basketballs rolling around the otherwise deserted gym floor.  You hadn’t known what to do-- whether to call out to him, to ask him to put away the balls when he was finished, or even to leave. You’d stood there for an absurdly long time, unable to decide, watching him dribble, feint around imaginary opponents, then shoot. Each time, the ball had arced perfectly through the hoop, and you’d resisted the impulse to cheer.

You’d still been scared of him. Back then, you’d only ever known of him from the rumors always buzzing around the school-- that he’d fought thirty gangsters, that he’d almost ended up in jail, that one wrong move around him, and you’d end up in the hospital like the old principal had.

But watching him play that evening, you’d thought he didn’t look very scary at all, only maybe a little lonely. In the end, you’d left him to play, hiding in the back of the bleachers to work on the math problems due the next day, hoping he wouldn’t notice you were there, hoping he wouldn’t mind. The echo of the ball’s dribbling and the squeak of his shoes on the floor had been soothing, somehow.

By the time you’d finished your homework, though, the gym had fallen silent, and when you’d looked up Gavin had vanished, and all the basketballs on the floor you’d thought you would have had to clean up were neatly returned to their basket.

The rattling of the basket rim brings you back to the present just in time for you to see Gavin dunk. He wheels around with a whoop, the excited grin on his face boyish. It's contagious-- you can't help but smile, too-- but then he catches sight of you and he stiffens, grin fading.

“You,” he starts, abrupt in the sudden silence. You’re not sure exactly what you would’ve said if you’d been thinking straight, but what ends up coming out of your mouth is:

“Gavin! Your dunk was really cool!”

“Yeah?”

He looks away, bouncing the ball idly a few times.

“You don’t like basketball that much, though?”

“It’s not that-- it’s more like I’m scared of it.”

“Why?”

He’s looking at you again, expression open, curious. You realize belatedly that this is maybe the most relaxed you’ve ever been around him, the thought bringing a touch of pink to your cheeks.

“It wasn’t that big of a deal, just someone in PE hit me with a ball one time. So now, I find it a little scary.”

“Watching you and Minor play, though,” you continue, “and seeing how much you two enjoy it makes it a little less frightening.”

You smile at him again, and he’s silent for a long moment. You panic a little internally-- have you said too much? But then he responds, almost too low for you to hear.

“I could teach you to play. If you wanted.”

You nod.

“I’d like that,” you say, and it comes out quieter, a little hopeful, your cheeks still tinged with a blush. It feels like a moment, or the edge of a moment, a hair’s-breadth away from something, though you wouldn’t be able to name it even if someone were to ask.

Even when Minor finally shows up, you fancy you can still feel it stretching between you and Gavin, that thread of something, something more.

Days pass in that fashion, Minor practicing with a vengeance, without a word to you and Gavin as the two of you orbit each other, almost. There’s a day when Gavin brings his book again, and settles down beside you, only to fall asleep in the middle of reading it, his head dropping dangerously close to your shoulder.

Minor grins at the sight when he stops for a drink of water.

“I was able to concentrate today-- I was wondering why, but it’s because my number one fan’s asleep!”

An awkward moment passes as you both stare in silence at Gavin’s sleeping form. You like to think that he looks softer like this, all his hard stares and glares and furrowed brows smoothed out.

“I’m sorry about getting mad that time,” Minor says without looking at you. “None of what they said was your fault, Sis. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

"It's fine. You had every right to be upset. Just next time-- I want to be a friend who can listen and help, alright? If you'll let me."

Before you can say another word, Minor pulls you into a hug.

"Of course I will, Sis!"

Just like that, any remaining awkwardness between you dissolves, and you joke and talk like normal.

“Minor, the other day I saw Gavin playing, and I was just wondering…”

You trail off, hoping he’ll finish the thought before you have to say it aloud. Minor tips his head.

“Why isn’t he teaching me?”

You nod, looking away. He laughs, but it sounds a little sad.

“You know, Gavin, he taught me how to fight. I kept following him after he saved me that one time, and saw how he saved other people too with those fists, so I asked him to teach me. And he did.”

“But this, you know, I just feel like it’s something I have to do on my own, somehow. I asked him not to teach me, told him he didn’t have to come. ”

He smiles to himself.

“He came, anyway.”

Then, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes,

“I wonder if it was for me, though.”

You blush and don't reply.

When Gavin finally wakes up, Minor drops a bombshell. He's challenged the bullies to a basketball match. A basketball match that's starting in less than an hour.

“Two-versus-three? You’re on.”

Gavin’s voice is carefully bored, but when you look over at him, there’s a gleam of excitement in his eyes. For the first time since the start of the summer, he shrugs off his hoodie, tossing it aside as he moves to the middle of the court to join Minor.

“Good luck!” You call to them.

Minor flashes you a thumbs up and a grin. Gavin throws you a single nod over his shoulder. Then, the bullies arrive and the game begins.

You can't help the way your eyes follow the motion of Gavin's toned arms, the flex of his well-muscled shoulders-- for all you'd heard stories about him getting into fights, it had never occurred to you what exactly that meant in terms of, well, his physical fitness. Specifically, how built he is under the hoodie he always wears. If you were more shameless, you're sure you'd take the opportunity to raise your camera and capture a physique you can only describe as art. You consider yourself lucky that they're both so caught up in the game that they don't notice your pronounced blush and can't hear your extensive internal commentary.

You can't really say you're being biased-- you're sure anyone with eyes can see that he's made to be an athlete (there's a fluidity to his movements that you're sure even poets would be at a loss for words at). And, for all he teased Minor for the other boy's NBA obsession, even your unpracticed eye can tell: Gavin's good at basketball. There's something about the way he passes the ball to Minor, the way none of the other team's throws make it past him: it speaks of an ease that's only possible through months, years even, of experience.

It's no wonder Gavin and Minor win, easily. You think that Minor probably would've won, even without Gavin's help.

Nevertheless, the moment the game’s over, Minor runs over to crush you in a warm, sweaty hug. After a moment, he pulls back, grinning.

“I won!”

Gavin clears his throat. Minor’s grin widens and he turns to Gavin, beckoning him to join. After a moment, Gavin lets himself be pulled into the embrace.

“We won.”

(You notice in hindsight that Minor's the one who landed all of their team's shots.

Even more in hindsight, you remember the wind being particularly strong that day-- none of the shots of the bully's team had ever gotten close to the basket.

"Gavin, that day, the wind--" you start, as you gaze at the empty court, the two of you surely thinking of that same summer.

"He would've won either way," Gavin responds before you can finish. "But I wanted to make a point."

His eyes flash for a moment when they settle on yours, sharp and angry, and you remember the way the bully had taunted you, too. You swallow, and give Gavin a small smile, and maybe he sees a bit of his anger reflected in your gaze, because he reaches out and takes your hand without a word, holds it tight.)

After the game, the rest of the summer passes in a blur. Minor still practices his shots in the court just outside of Sunshine Alley, but Gavin stops teasing him about joining the NBA. One afternoon when you get there, camera in hand, Gavin has a split lip and bruised knuckles, Minor a black eye, and neither responds when you ask what happened and why.

You never see the bully or his friends again, but Minor'll swear up and down he and Gavin had nothing to do with it.

Some days, Minor doesn't bring his basketball, and you trail behind him as he makes the long walk to the track behind the school, Gavin, silent, at your side. The first time, you realize you've worn the wrong shoes when the backs of your sandals begin to dig red marks into your heels, and you have to take a moment to sit and pull them off, rubbing your feet. Gavin lingers beside you, and you try to shoo him after Minor's retreating back, but he waits until you're ready to walk again, and keeps pace with your pained steps. The next time Minor wants to run, Gavin's brought his motorcycle, and though you also wear more sensible shoes, you don't turn down the ride he offers.

"We'll meet you there," Gavin tosses over his shoulder as Minor salutes. You let your hands rest as lightly as possible on his back, and when he doesn't turn to look back at you the whole ride, you and your burning red cheeks are glad.

When you get to the empty lot by the track, your blush seems unwarranted-- Gavin offers Minor a spin around the lot, and a ride back, which the other boy eagerly accepts. While they ride, you crouch and capture pictures of the flowers blooming through cracks in the concrete, the blur of the motorcycle in the distance. After, they run, and you chase after them with a laugh to capture that too, their backs illuminated by the fading summer light.

Gavin lets you sit behind him on his bike again one late summer evening after Minor's gone home and you blush when he pulls your arms a little more firmly around his waist and tells you, with a grin, to not let go this time.

You protest. It had only been once that you'd almost fallen off and that was because there had been three of you, you and him and Minor behind, and really, Minor had pulled you off-- but your indignant words are lost as he guns the engine, his chest shaking with laughter.

The wind steals the sound of his chuckles as the motorcycle leaps forward, tugs the tie from your messy braid and spins your hair into a fan, opened in the bike's wake. Gavin accelerates and you shoot across the lot, chasing the fading rays of sun, to the end of the horizon and looping around to the start. He looks back just once, amber eyes shining with more than just the sunset gold, and you're sure the grin on your face is just as wide as his.

You drive in circles until you're both dizzy and you press your cheek to his warm back, both of you shaking with breathless laughter, and you think recklessly, you don't want this to ever end, even though you both know that the coming school year is Gavin's last, one more summer and then he'll be gone, because this is a moment almost profound, golden like the setting sun, and moments like these, like the already darkening sky, are never meant to last.

(It doesn't.)

That year, you see Gavin confront another boy in an alley. Cash passes in the space between them, from the boy's shaking hand to Gavin's open palm. You think you make a sound, maybe a quiet gasp, but Gavin's head turns, your eyes meet-- it's the same amber gaze as always, but you've never seen him so cold and angry-- and you bolt.

He never explains it to you. He never gets a chance to explain it to you. Time crawls by, and you see him less and less-- though you're never quite sure who's avoiding who-- until it's just Minor and you, and then just you and Minor's shaky smile, Minor pressing a bloody letter in your hand.

You don't need his "it's from Gavin." You don't open it, not the whole year.

By the time you finally decide to leave it at the bottom of your nightstand's drawers, the ginkgo buds are starting to bloom, and Gavin's graduated, somehow, gone.

You still pass by the basketball court every day on the way home. You still eat late night dinners with Minor in Lynn’s Kitchen when your father says he’ll be home late.

You leave a post-it note on the wall one time, when you go to eat alone.

I hate it when people leave without saying goodbye.

Minor leaves when you two go to different colleges. Your other high school friends scatter, too, petals caught in the wind, whether they go to Loveland University with you or not, you drift apart.

Two years into college, you get the phone call from the hospital. It’s your father , the nurse on the line says, and you don’t want to hear the rest.

When you’re old enough to inherit your father’s production company, you fight for it-- every new episode of Miracle Finder is yours, forged from tears and sleepless nights, team meetings with Willow and Kiki and ever-faithful Anna, gritted teeth and forced smiles as you strain and strain and strain, as you bow your head to the show’s patrons and bite back anger at their condescension, at their false condolences and greedy eyes.

Then the last episode of Miracle Finder airs, and it has better reviews than its predecessors have had in a while, thanks to Professor Lucien and his easy charm. You congratulate your crew, and make sure to thank them all profusely by treating them to a company dinner.

But when you watch the aired episode in the dark and quiet of your own apartment, and the credits roll with their nostalgic music, one last time, it feels a little like losing your father all over again. He’s gone again, without a goodbye.

You vent at Victor. He accepts your proposal, but gives you an absurd deadline to meet, and you’re floundering all over again. The company, yours to preserve, one last fading memory of your father’s legacy, put on the line. Again.

You strain. This is one thing, you vow to yourself, you’ll never let leave without a proper goodbye.

But Gavin comes back-- and it feels like a vicious cycle in your life’s been broken. You hold onto the company. And, finally, you remember what it feels like to not only survive, holding on by the barest inch, but to flourish. You come back together, in fits and starts. He saves you, in more ways than one.

"What are you thinking about?" Gavin asks you now as you stare at the empty basketball court of a summer long since gone. You're sure if you look close enough, there'll be flowers growing through the cracks now there in the concrete just like the ones you'd photographed once upon a time. And maybe you’ll never get that summer back, but Gavin came back, and he's here with you now, to see the gingko leaves fall and bloom again, to see this sunset, and this time, it doesn't feel like a moment. It feels like it could last forever.

You tip your head up to grin at him.

"Will you let me ride with you on Sparky home?"

He smiles back, soft and sweet and just for you, and you know, he remembers too.

"Don't let go this time," he says, and when he puts his spare helmet over your head, his hands linger, his eyes on yours. I remember everything, he seems to say.

Your heart skips more than a few beats, but you don't look away, and the wind picks up, too, sending gingko leaves swirling through the air around you both. As you look up at him, you fancy the glow of his eyes outshines the setting sun.

"I won't," you reply at last, and what you mean but don't say is I remember it all, too.

You rub your fingers over the bracelet around your wrist, and when he starts the motorcycle, and the two of you speed away in the fading gold light, you press your nose into his warm shoulder, listen to the sound of his steady heartbeats, and hold on tight.

[vitanes]

say it’s okay when it’s not

chapter 8: the aftermath

Lucas gets outed and he has to deal with what’s next. The whole week is one long ride. Along with bad experiences, he learns something new about Eliott.

(a/n: homophobic language)

They are all looking at him and Lucas wishes he could make it stop. He knows they saw it, their usernames among the tagged ones in the post containing the pictures. And now they are looking at him trying very hard not to look at him. It’s suffocating, Lucas wants to become invisible all at once. He can’t stand being in this situation.

“Hey, hey. Lucas.” Someone shakes his shoulder and his head snaps to the side. Yann’s eyes are piercing through him and his hand on Lucas’ shoulder is heavy.

“I need to go,” Lucas whispers, looking away. He stands up abruptly, letting his phone fall down to the floor with a loud thud when it slides off his legs. He pays it no mind and starts walking towards the door. Everyone’s watching him.

He’s stopped halfway through his way by fingers wrapping around his wrist and strongly grounding him in place.

“Lucas, no. You aren’t doing it again,” Yann says, his grip tightening. Lucas exhales sharply and turns around.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” he asks, his voice breaking. He’s so embarrassed, he doesn’t want all of his friends seeing him like that. Yann seems to understand because his eyes skim over the room and then he pushes Lucas forward until they are out of everyone’s earshot.

“You aren’t running away, that’s for sure,” he says once they are in the hallway. Lucas shakes his head.

“Have you seen how many people were tagged in this post? Everyone will know. God, why didn’t I pay them? I was such a moron for thinking they’d let it go.” His voice is strained and he’s barely getting words out of his throat. “Everyone in that room was staring at me,” he adds, pointing in the direction of the living room.

“They were shocked and worried,” Yann tries to explain and Lucas rolls his eyes.

“I don’t care, I don’t want that. Fuck, what am I going to do?” Lucas asks helplessly. He can’t imagine facing his friends afterwards let alone the rest of the world. He was exposed in the way he’s been trying to avoid for so long and no matter how much effort he put into hiding his secret, it’s all done now.

“Lucas, come on, look at me. Look at me,” Yann says sternly, but Lucas refuses, staring at the ceiling instead. Yann cups Lucas’ head in both his hands and forces him to look at him. “You’re going to get through this, okay?” He sounds so sure and Lucas wishes he could nod and confirm those words, but he doesn’t believe in them. He can’t cope with this situation.

One of Yann’s hands slides down to Lucas’ neck and he pushes Lucas’ head against his shoulder, letting his other arm fall around Lucas’ waist. He holds him there and if not for him, Lucas feels like his knees would give out under him.

“You want me to get them out of here?” Yann whispers, his thumb reassuringly tracing circles over  Lucas’ skin. He gets a nod in return. “Okay. Go to your room and I’ll handle them. Do you want me to stay?”

Lucas withdraws and lets his eyes rest on Yann’s face for a long moment. “I’d rather be alone now,” he eventually lets out. There’s no anger in response, no accusation. Just pure understanding.

“Okay, but if you need anything, I’m one phone call away.” Yann rubs his hand over Lucas’ back one last time before pulling away as well. “It’ll be okay.”

It won’t, Lucas replies in his mind and steps away. He goes to his room and locks the door, not keen on seeing anyone right now. His whole world has just ended, he needs some rest.

***

The best way, the Lucas’ way to deal with problems when they get overwhelming is to ignore them. It worked perfectly fine when things were going down with his family. He would put a smile on his face and just go on. So he tells himself, this time it should be the same. He’ll simply act as if nothing happened. He doesn’t talk about it thus it’s not real. That’s the conclusion he reaches over the weekend. That’s how he eventually leaves his room and talks with Manon like all is good. He can see the surprise on her face, but he ignores it.

The same way he avoids looking at his phone. And really, why not? He can live a life like that. In a bubble. Lisa and Mika seem cooperative, much to his relief and don’t even send him weird looks, even though Lucas feared Mika would approach him the first thing after finding out.

When he’s going to school on Monday, it’s with newfound energy. A part of him tells him that he can do it. That maybe Yann was right.

(That are the lies he feeds himself so he can at least slightly calm his nerves.)

He comes up to the guys, he high-fives them even though his palm is trembling and tries to grin as much as possible.

“I tried calling you,” Arthur says at one point, seemingly tired of the elephant in the room.

“Ran out of battery,” Lucas replies, pretending to be oblivious. He notices everyone turning towards him, interested and his healthy fingers curl into a fist in his pocket.

“I just wanted to–“

“I can’t believe!” Lucas hears Chloé before she appears right in front of him. Great. “What did you think? Did you even think at all?” she asks him and she’s fuming. Considering they haven’t spoken to each other ever since that unfortunate morning, Lucas assumed they both had agreed to forget, but he must have been wrong. “Why did you sleep with me if you’re gay?” Lucas’ heart stops beating for a second just to pick up its speed in an instant. The guys make surprised noises, but Lucas can’t address them. “Do you know how it feels like? People will think I’m pathetic for sleeping with a gay guy. Fuck you, you should have chosen someone else. At least now I know why you couldn’t make it work. Jesus, I was so stupid!” she yells, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Hey, now. Maybe if you weren’t screaming about sleeping with him no one would know,” Eliott says and Chloé’s eyes snap to him. Lucas has already noticed, but apparently, it must have started registering in her head only now that people around are looking towards them, some of them snickering. Chloé’s cheeks redden and she coughs.  

“Whatever,” she mumbles under her breath and leaves the place, knocking into Lucas’ shoulder for emphasis.  

“Dude, you slept with her?” Basile asks after a few beats of uncomfortable silence. The muscle in Lucas’ jaw ticks and instead of answering, he turns on his heel and goes towards the entrance of the school.

***

“Why didn’t you tell me about Chloé?” Yann asks on their way home after classes. Lucas was invited over for a dinner to Yann’s house and he didn’t even question the way Yann eagerly asked him to come. He feels a bit guilty, though, living off Yann’s family again. He doesn’t think he deserves any of their generosity.  

Lucas doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. The shame that was left in him after what he did with Chloé is still within him. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to openly talk about this experience without feeling lightheaded and gross for a very long time. It’s a tough topic. One he’d rather stay away from than picking it apart.

“I’ve been trying to forget it happened at all.” There was also the fact he didn’t want to make Yann feel guilty because knowing Lucas he’d word his explanation wrong. Besides, he’s been scared of being judged for doing it. Even with Eliott, it wasn’t all that easy. But with Yann, it’s ten times worse because they are best friends.

“Why did you do it?” Yann asks quietly, kicking a rock out of his way. He tucks his hands into his pockets. He won’t meet Lucas’ eye and Lucas looks straight ahead.

“I was really miserable and everyone around me started coming out suddenly and being happily not straight. I just felt like I had to do it,” he explains, scowling. He should have known it’d be a mistake and maybe under normal circumstances, he’d have stopped. But he was drunk and the rest is history.

“She was your first, right?” Yann asks. Lucas would assume that he does that out of politeness because he’d know if Lucas had sex with someone. But at the same time, Yann has no idea how pathetic his experiences with boys are, he has no idea Lucas has never gone further than a heated make-out session with a stranger. In that case, his question is completely valid.

Lucas nods. They both fall quiet afterwards, but Lucas can hear Yann thinking anyway and he keeps wondering what exactly is going on in Yann’s mind. Whether it’s something bad about Lucas. He starts worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

They are near Yann’s building when he hesitantly opens his mouth to say, “I’m sorry it happened. I really hope you won’t hurt yourself like that ever again.” There’s something really soft in the way he utters those words, something that touches right at Lucas’ core. It says I don’t want you to do that to yourself because I care about you. It says I love you and pulls at the strings in Lucas’ heart.

And Lucas thinks to himself, how could I’ve ever doubted you?

***

The moment Lucas knows something is wrong is when he walks into the locker room to change for PE and everyone falls silent upon his arrival. He feels the eyes of his classmates watching him, but he tries to move on. No need to unnecessarily stress over that. It probably doesn’t mean anything, right?

Wrong.

It happens when he starts changing into his sweatpants. Someone says, “The girls’ locker room is to the right, you missed.”

Lucas takes a deep breath but says nothing. He doesn’t want to let them provoke him, especially when he’s completely alone here. He doesn’t have this class with any of his friends. Better to play safe.

“You heard me? You shouldn’t have come here.”

“Yeah, we don’t want to be watched by some queer,” someone else adds and Lucas bites on the inside of his cheek so hard it nearly draws blood.

“What are you going to do anyway with that screwed up hand of yours?”

He was told he can participate in PE as long as he isn’t doing anything involving his hand, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, does it?

“Surely won’t give anyone a hand job.” The whole locker room barks out with laughter and Lucas scrunches his nose up. It wasn’t even funny.

The person sitting to his left kicks him in the shin and says, “Why aren’t you saying anything? Too much dick sucking?” He kicks Lucas again, this time with more force.

“I’m not here to talk with you,” Lucas says calmly, even though his heart is beating rapidly in his chest.

“Oh, how mighty. Mister homo is too good for us, huh?” says the first guy and the one who kicked Lucas leans closer to him.

“Watch out, I like throwing the ball really hard,” he mutters with a dangerous note to his voice and for the first time, Lucas truly feels like it’s not just harmless teasing.

“Don’t get too close to him, he might get a crush on you.”

“Don’t worry, if it happened I’d beat that crush out of him,” the guy promises and stands up, flicking Lucas in the ear before leaving.

The other guys follow him soon after, with someone throwing over their shoulder, “Next time you shouldn’t change here,” as the last warning.

When the door closes and Lucas is left alone only then does he realise how badly his whole body is trembling. He barely knows these people and they have a problem with him over two random pictures. Over him not being like them. Lucas can’t wrap his head around it. Can’t grasp the fact they won’t be the last ones to pick on him even though last week they were barely classmates, almost strangers.

It takes all of Lucas’ strength to go to PE after that.

***

Waiting for a teacher to come and then finding out they aren’t going to show up is always satisfying. Even if it’s biology that Lucas enjoys, he needs that moment of peace. Being at school has been torture and it’s been only merely three days. It feels like everyone is staring at him during classes. The whole school wasn’t tagged in the pictures and he didn’t expect everyone to point at him, but the rumours spread fast. More people than not know about him and choose to give him hell. Mostly students from his year, which makes matters worse. He has to interact with them.

Having a class cancelled is a small miracle, an hour to get away from people snickering behind his back and he can’t wait to just go somewhere and disappear.

“Hey, do you want to study in the library?” Imane asks him and Lucas looks around, wondering when she got closer to him. He definitely didn’t see this coming.

“Um. Sure,” he mumbles, shrugging. Aside from the boys and Manon, he hasn’t talked with anyone who was in the flat on Friday and now he feels awkward. Especially that he only touched upon the subject with Yann. None of the boys bothered him about it so far, but Lucas doesn’t know what to expect from Imane. If he should even expect anything. She’s blunt and always speaks her mind and Lucas assumes the worst. Always. Even though he shouldn’t.

They go over to the library and Imane chooses a table in the far corner of the place, right under the window and close to the regales full of scientific textbooks. They settle down and spread out their materials over the table. Lucas isn’t sure he’s in the right state of mind to study and learn a lot, but he might as well try. Over the weeks, Imane and he have become compatible during biology classes and perhaps now she’ll send him some vibes that will help him focus.

They start going through the topic of the last lesson, helping each other out with the matters they both have issues with and somehow manage to work them out together.  That reminds Lucas just how much joy learning things he’s interested in gives him. And, looking back, Lucas is happy that Imane became his partner. As much as he likes Arthur, they never had the connection needed for that subject and very often Lucas would get distracted or would have to do twice as much. With Imane things go smoothly and it doesn’t feel like only one party puts effort. It’s a pleasant change.

“What are you guys looking at?” Imane asks, her tone sharp and Lucas looks up from his textbook to notice two guys and a girl sitting by the table next to theirs. The girl and one guy seem embarrassed by being caught gawking, but the other boy looks unbothered and Lucas knows he’s going to say something nasty.

“It’s just weird he’s hanging out with you. You’re a girl, right? Besides, shouldn’t you be against the gays?” the guy asks and yep, there it is.

Imane sighs with exasperation all the while Lucas’ grip on his pen tightens. “It’s just weird that you’re in this school when you don’t possess any brain cells. If you aren’t going to say something smart, maybe it’s better to stay quiet. Assuming we are such a big problem for you, why don’t you change the table?” she waves her hand towards unoccupied parts of the library, “I don’t know about you, but some people really came here to study. So could you remove yourself before I tell the librarian you’re disrupting the quiet?” Imane tilts her head to the side, a fake smile tugging at her lips.

After a moment of hesitation, the girl tugs on the sleeve of one of the guys and then they all move. Imane watches them with a satisfied smirk and then her eyes move to Lucas’ surprised face.

“What?”

“How did you do it?” he asks. He wasn’t even able to say a word to them all the while Imane had enough guts to make them leave.

“Years of practice,” she replies with a shrug. She tries to come off as nonchalant, but Lucas notices the way her smile becomes sad and her eyes lose their earlier spark. “You never get used to being treated like a zoo exhibition but you learn how to stand up.”

“We have something in common now,” Lucas says matter-of-factly and Imane snorts.

“Yay, oppression,” she says, weakly waving her fist in the air.

“Although I could never understand what you have to go through,” Lucas adds as an afterthought. He’s still a white guy, all the while Imane must deal with racists, islamophobes, and people who hate women. And when Lucas can hide being gay, Imane can’t lie about being who she is.

“Yeah, you couldn’t. But we can learn from each other and support one another. We have compassion and deeper understanding of those things than the people who go through life without being prosecuted for simply being who they are,” Imane says, her fingers toying with the corner of her notebook. “How are you holding up?” she asks, looking at him.

“It’s bad but I try not to think about it so I don’t lose my mind,” Lucas says honestly. It’s hard to deal with. It’d be one thing if he had already accepted himself beforehand, but he’s still full of self-hatred. And being forced out of the closet in this state will leave a scar. Lucas is aware enough to know that. He’s been outed against his will and everyone including himself isn’t a fan of what was revealed. He wasn’t ready to have the whole world know he likes boys. He wasn’t going to be ready anytime soon.

Now he has to deal with all of the backlash and his own issues. He can’t even think about kissing a boy or holding his hand. But now other people do think about him doing all of that and it doesn’t belong to them in the slightest. Especially not if it doesn’t belong to Lucas either.

“One thing I can assure you about is that people will stop talking. They’ll get bored. The news will be old and you won’t be that interesting soon enough. Good things pass but bad do, too.” Imane reaches her hand out and gently brushes her fingers over Lucas’ bandaged knuckles. “I was really scared. On Friday,” she admits. “I’m glad that Yann stopped you from rushing off. Almost everyone started looking at their phones and it must have felt horrible for you. But I hope you know none of us were judging you. We were mostly sad. Angry at the person who posted it. Guilty for looking at the pictures.”

It’s good to hear it said out loud. Lucas has considered all of the bad things his friends might have thought about he didn’t even take into account that they were feeling for him. And logically he should know he’s got all their support, they’ve proven that, but Lucas always lets his mind wander to dark places.

“Thank you,” he says, slightly pushing his hand against Imane’s and getting a small smile in return.

“Anytime.”

***

Walking into the school building on Friday, nothing could have prepared Lucas for what he’s met with. All he can do is stand frozen, staring at the posters showing a naked guy in a lewd position with Lucas’ face photoshopped on top of his and an ‘I will ride you for 10 euros’ with his Instagram handle next to it. And it’s not only one or two posters. No, they are hanging over the whole hallway. Some people have taken them off just to smirk at them.

And Lucas can’t move away, taking the poster in with shaking breaths. His hands balled up into fists despite his aching fingers. This is awful. Everyone will see it. Everyone will know even if they didn’t before. They won’t stop talking. They won’t stop doing things like that. Lucas’ lips fall open.

Why? What did he do? He’s not the only gay kid in school but for some reason, he’s the one people hate. He didn’t want this. And it can only get worse from now on because why wouldn’t it? It’s been barely a week and it’s hell.

“What the hell are you laughing about?!” Arthur screams towards the crowd that has gathered around. He starts ripping the posters off the wall, his face full of disdain.

“Don’t you have better things to do? Fuck off,” Yann says, taking care of the posters further down the hall all the while Basile joins Arthur.

People are still making comments despite the guys trying to shove them away, to tell them off and Lucas can’t take it.

“Let’s go,” Eliott whispers into his ear and tugs Lucas away from there, back towards the schoolyard. “Fucking assholes,” Eliott mutters under his nose when they stop next to the entrance. He turns towards Lucas, a pained expression over his face and opens his mouth to say something more.

“Lucas, are you alright?” Yann reaches them with Arthur and Basile in tow, all of them looking pissed off. Lucas shoots a glance to Eliott but he doesn’t say anything more, his eyes downcast. Lucas looks back at Yann.

“How can I be?” he asks, his voice breaking. “Have you seen those posters? There’s contact to me on them.” He starts pacing. God knows how many of the posters are still hanging all around the school.

“We will go to the principal,” Arthur says, reaching his hand out to place it on Lucas’ shoulder but Lucas shakes him off.

“What good will it do? People will keep talking but now I’ll put them in trouble so it’ll be even worse.”

“So you just want to let it happen?” Arthur asks, frowning.

“I tried to stop it from happening for so long and it didn’t work! Nothing will work now. I just can’t fucking wait to be beaten up!” He throws his hands in the air, his whole body shaking. “How is that fair that you and Eliott can make out at a party but I have to be sorry for existing? I’m so fucking sick of this,” he sniffs, “Why am I the only one people have a problem with?” he asks, looking straight into Arthur’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” he says helplessly.

“I really wish I wasn’t gay. I hate it so much. And if my life is going to look like that? When I can’t even take a piss without someone looking at me weirdly? Then I don’t want to live at all!” First tears spill from his eyes and he groans, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He hates that so much, too. He always fucking cries, like a baby.

“Don’t say that. You can’t mean that,” Arthur’s voice is barely above a whisper when he says that, his eyes wide and face pale.

“I do. I do mean that,” Lucas admits.

He looks over the rest of the boys’ faces and they all look the same amount stunned and sad.

“Lucas, it’s not the end. You’re still so young,” Eliott says.

“What would you know? It’s the end for me,” Lucas retorts harshly and the moment Eliott’s face falls, Lucas knows he’s said the wrong thing but it’s too late to take it back.

“You’re taking it too far. Cool down,” Yann says warningly.

Lucas takes a step away from them and they all flinch upon noticing. “Just leave me alone,” he mutters and turns his back to them before storming off.

***

Locking himself in his room to run away from the whole world has become some sort of a hobby for Lucas. He isn’t really proud of this one, though, but what can he do? He doesn’t want to face other people, he wants to pretend he’s the only human out there. Besides he doesn’t have to talk with anyone, doesn’t have to see anyone worried.

If he’s locked in his room he won’t hurt anyone by whatever he says or have to deal with assholes. Running away is always the best choice.

Lucas briefly wonders how much school he has already missed. How badly it’ll affect his performance. He hopes he’ll be able to pass, but in the grand scheme of things does that even matter anymore? If he can’t handle being at school maybe he should drop out altogether. Find a job and finally not be reliant on his father.

The teachers must have seen the posters. He wouldn’t be surprised if the principal found out without anyone really reporting it to him. What if the next time he goes to school he gets called into the office? Have adults discuss his situation, ask questions. God, that would be humiliating.

Lucas doesn’t know how much time passes since he comes from school until there’s a knock on his door, but he supposes it must be well into the afternoon. His flatmates already back from work and school, probably wondering why he’s there earlier than them again.

Lucas thinks to himself that if he stays quiet, they’ll think he’s asleep and won’t bother him. But the knocking repeats after a minute or two and he sighs loudly.

He’s already reaching the bottom so he rolls off his bed, falling down with an ‘ow!’ in the process and honest to God crawls towards the door.

“No, I’m not hungry. Yes, I’ll do my laundry. I’m fine,” he mumbles, resting his forehead against the door.

“We both know it’s a lie,” he hears Eliott saying from the other side and Lucas’ breath hitches. He opens his eyes wider.

“Who let you in?” he asks weakly.

“Mika? I think so.” Of course, it was Mika, who else. If he can’t be nosy, he’ll let other people do that for him. “Are you going to open the door?”

Lucas considers that for a long moment and then blurts out, “No.”

“Fine then,” Eliott says and then Lucas hears some commotion from the other side and the feeling of another body pressed up against the door.

“Why did you come here?” Lucas asks, brushing his knuckles up and down over the wood.

“I didn’t want you to be alone. Despite what you said. And I figured out you’re more likely to talk with me than the others,” Eliott admits and Lucas shifts his head so his ear is pressed closer. He can almost hear Eliott breathing.

“Why?”

“Because you did that before,” Eliott says and Lucas purses his lips, looking down at the carpet. It’s true. There’s something about Eliott that makes Lucas open up in a way he struggles with the rest of his friends. He doesn’t know why that happens and is aware it may be problematic in the long run. Finding out that Eliott knows about it as well is a little scary to be honest. It feels like he’s holding that power over Lucas. Coming to him when Lucas clearly stated he didn’t want anyone because he knows Lucas may not resist. Lucas doesn’t know what to make of it, what it means, but his heart speeds up when he thinks about it.

Lucas nearly choked trying to be vulnerable with his best friend but here he is, wearing his emotions on his sleeve while talking with someone he barely knows.

“I was an asshole,” Lucas whispers, his cheeks getting warm.

“Maybe. But the situation was very fucked up. And it proved you shouldn’t be alone right now. Even if we just sit here with the door between us, I think it’s better than you shutting yourself off,” Eliott says, his voice composed. “The things you said about yourself. About not wanting to live. It really got to the guys.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucas says and his voice wavers. It’s never a pleasant thing to hear your loved one say something like that. He’d know, his heart bled each time his mother said something akin to his words.

“Don’t be,” Eliott says softly. “But it left them distraught. Especially Arthur. He blames himself for not helping you earlier, for not figuring it out. He feels bad for being openly out when you were struggling so much.”

“He couldn’t have known,” Lucas says. He never let anything escape. No matter how much his friends know him, if he didn’t want them to find out about any part of himself, he would do anything it takes to hide it. It wasn’t any different in this case.

“I tried to tell him. But I think you’ll have to talk with him when the time comes anyway.”

A sudden thought occurs in Lucas’ mind and his eyes jump to the place he thinks Eliott’s head might be.

“Did you… did you know?” It’s a stupid question, but Lucas can’t shake it off. There’s been something subdued about Eliott’s approach. He was the only one who didn’t give Lucas lingering looks since it all went down. Not to mention he’s the one to come and comfort him and knows exactly what to say.

“Not really. At least not until you told me about Chloé. I had my suspicions after that, but I told myself I was reading too much into that,” Eliott says thoughtfully.  

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Lucas, how would you react if a guy you very strongly disliked for a while asked you if you weren’t straight? When you were deep in the closet? It wasn’t my place to say anything.” Well, if it’s put this way, it does make sense. “I was just as surprised as everyone on Friday. But it was even worse because I wasn’t tagged in that post. I saw it on the screen of your phone after I picked it up when you left and I shouldn’t have looked,” Eliott explains and even though his memory of that day is blurry, Lucas remembers glimpses. Remembers how Eliott’s confusion looked so differently from the surprise on the faces of his other friends.

“Why weren’t you tagged?”

“My account is private and I don’t follow anyone.”

“Mysterious,” Lucas says, but in his head, there are many questions. Why’s Eliott’s account out of reach for all of them? What is he hiding?

Eliott snorts. “Yeah. Anyways, I want to tell you something. But I don’t think I can do it like that. It’s a secret,” Eliott says and it takes a moment for Lucas to realise he’s asked to be let in again.

Lucas looks over the room, on the clothes draped over the furniture, textbooks on the floor and his bed unmade and the insecurity from a week ago comes back to Lucas. His room is a mess and Eliott’s never been in here, but at this point, Lucas is too numb to think twice before standing up and slowly unlocking the door. Whatever Eliott thinks of the state of the room, Lucas will handle it.

He opens the door and Eliott falls down on his back with a yelp. He wasn’t probably expecting Lucas to give in. To be fair, Lucas wasn’t expecting it either.

He looks down at him and Eliott watches him back, upside down. His hair is sprawled on the floor, surrounding his head like a halo and there’s a dazed look on his face the longer he’s staring at Lucas, his lips slightly parted. Lucas shakes the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach off and moves back to his bed.

Eliott stands up, threads his fingers through his already dishevelled hair and gently closes the door before turning towards Lucas. Lucas is leaning against the headboard of his bed, his legs stretched out. He knows it’s not very polite to lie in your bed when the guest is over but he can’t find it in himself to care.

Eliott eyes the bed and clears his throat. “Can I?” He points towards the empty space left on the right side of the bed and Lucas feels himself blushing before nodding his head. Outside the context, it’d be weird. But it’s not, right? He’s shared the bed with Yann countless times. It’s not any different.

Eliott joins him and once he’s settled, their shoulders are touching, their legs only inches apart. Lucas feels lightheaded for some reason. More so when he feels Eliott’s eyes on the side of his face.

“So what’s the secret?”

Eliott huffs under his nose and looks straight ahead. “It’ll sound cheap but I know how you feel. Like, not in a sympathetic way, but in the literal one. Last year, I was the centre of the rumours at my old school, too. And among other things, I was outed as well. That’s why I may be taking your situation differently than others? Because it happened to me. I’m not telling you this to shift the focus to myself, but to simply have you know.”

“What happened?” Lucas asks, curious.

“I don’t want to talk about the details. I still can’t. But the word I was in love with that guy got around. He was one of my best friends. And I had a girlfriend at the time so you can imagine it didn’t put me in a good position. Things got out of control. I was easily affected by people’s reactions. I hated myself. It was so bad I stopped going to school, failed exams. I wasn’t myself anymore. That’s why I’m repeating the year. I came back for the first semester but all my friends were gone, my girlfriend too and people didn’t forget. I’d still find nasty things sprayed on my locker. And I was so tired. I changed school, cut ties and started over.” Eliott is breathing unevenly when he tells his story, like it’s weighing down on him. Making it hard to breathe. It’s causing him a lot of pain and maybe that’s what prompts Lucas to reach out for his hand and grab it. Eliott’s breath stutters in that moment, but he doesn’t comment on it so Lucas considers it’s okay to hold him like that. He doesn’t take his hand away. He can feel Eliott brushing his thumb over Lucas’ bandages.

“How are you now?” Lucas asks.

“Better. I’m a nobody to most and I like it. And I’ve got you guys. My whole situation left me so isolated I was scared I wouldn’t find any friends. I’m healing, I think,” Eliott says but he still sounds hollow. Losing everyone and everything isn’t easy to get over with.

“So you suggest I should change schools, too?” Lucas asks meekly.

“No. You have people. I pushed my friends away and ended up alone. You have a support system that will help you get through this. I just want you to know that what I said today, that it’s not the end. It really isn’t. I know exactly what you’re feeling and I’ll be damned if I let you make the same mistakes as I did. There’s a long and bumpy road ahead. It won’t be easy but one day things will be different,” he says, determined and Lucas wants to say something back, but he can’t find any words. Eventually, it’s Eliott who breaks the silence. “By the way, I was thinking. Have you reached out to your mom?” It’s weird how quickly Eliott changes the topic but maybe that’s something they have in common. Lucas can’t take talking about deeper stuff for a long time either. Especially matters that make him feel small. And Lucas thinks that revealing this secret to him must have had a similar effect on Eliott.  

“Not yet,” Lucas mumbles, still overwhelmed by everything Eliott has told him.

“Maybe it’s the right time to do it,” Eliott suggests, squeezing his hand, carefully enough not to cause him pain. Lucas takes a shaky breath and nods.

“Can you stay?” he asks reluctantly and feels Eliott shift ever so slightly. They are still holding hands.

Lucas isn’t sure if he’s asking about now or in general. Maybe both.

“Of course,” Eliott whispers quietly, with no hesitation in his voice and Lucas bites down on his bottom lip.

He’s feeling exposed, but it’s okay because Eliott bared a bit of his soul to him in return.

[itsbenedict]

Kingdoms and Koopas: Ep. 2

K&K is a Fate Accelerated campaign set in the Mario universe, which I’m running for three players:

Bee @thebeeskneesocks​, playing Kandace Koopa

Jovian @jovian12​, playing Cozmo Naut

Malky @sleepdepravity​, playing Dr. Chevy Chain

Last time | Archive | Next time

Previously on Kingdoms and Koopas: a routine hospital visit turned into a quest for magical artifacts, which turned into a less-routine hospital visit wherein the party was summarily inhaled by a Vacuum Shroom victim. After escaping the peril of Lake Stomach, the party escaped to the lungs, “assisted” the Fuzzipede, taste-tested toxic substances, teleported said toxic substances, and acquired information from the Lord of the Guys. Now, they know that the Music Key they’re after is in the heart, so that’s where they’re headed next!

Before leaving the Liver, Chevy checks in with the bartender. She asks how long it’ll take to clean out the rest of the toxin, to which the answer is “several hours, if Kandace helps teleport it out constantly”. She also asks how different parts of the body keep in touch, to which the answer is “the nervous system”. Wall phones, mostly. She gets the bartender’s number, and away they go to the heart.

Now, the heart is a complex organ. It’s got four chambers across two sides, and searching the heart could take a while. Problem number one: there’s two ways into the heart. They could follow the bloodstream into the left side, or they could go against the current to explore the right side. The current, incidentally, being a lot of red blood cells flying by at high speed- like a highway full of flying cars.

Kandace has the bright idea of having Chevy just sort of bite down on a red blood cell and hitch a ride, which... Chevy is not immediately on board with. You want her to bite blood? She’s not a vampire, c’mon. It’d probably taste terrible! And can’t they just ride one without biting it??

Well, some cajoling later, she gives in and they hang on to her chain as she rides a blood cell up to the left ventricle of the heart. They ride up towards the atrium, but then Chevy starts trying to say something with a mouthful of blood cell. Paraphrased:

“Mrrrmm fmmd I mmph gmph?”

“Uh, dude, what?”

“Mrrrmm fmmd I mmph gmph?”

“Chevy, we can’t understand what you’re sayin’!”

“MRRRMMM FMMD I-”

“Stop trying to talk with your mouth full!”

And then Chevy lets go of the blood cell and they all fall and land on a platform in the left ventricle. 

“I said, ‘when should I let go?’”

They search the ventricle but don’t find much of interest, so they get back on Kandace’s broom and fly up to the left atrium, which... uh. It’s dark, so obviously Kandace shoots off a fireball to illuminate the room. To steal a very good joke: “I guess we’re gonna have to give this guy heartburn!”

The fireball illuminates... a ton of Boos. Boos who move to block the entrance to the aorta. Cozmo swings Chevy around like a flail to knock them out of the way, succeeding in busting through. As they enter the aorta, Kandace can sense the presence of the Music Key in the direction they’re moving... until the aorta turns and they start moving away from it. From that information, they’re able to deduce that the Music Key is in the right atrium of the heart.

Problem is... to get there, they’d have to either ride the circulatory system all the way around the body until they entered the right atrium via the pulmonary vein, or they’d have to fly against the current of blood cells all the way back. And... in addition to fast-moving blood cells, there is also a small army of even faster Boos chasing them, attempting to seize them on behalf of “the Master”.

Cozmo tries to shake off the Boos with a firework, but he rolls poorly and the firework goes off on a blood cell. As the Boos close in... Kandace has an idea. She has Cozmo try to lasso one, but he just barely fails- apparently. The maneuver got it into position for Kandace to grab it, and begin using a magic spell to channel its power of intangibility and turn the party intangible. They flee through the aorta wall, and fly through flesh towards the right atrium.

(Hey, it beat the original plan of “just tunnel directly through the walls of this guy’s heart, it’ll be fine”.)

So they emerge into... total darkness. Kandace attempts to reach for the Music Key, which she senses in front of her, but she just barely dodges as the Key moves and something in the darkness attacks her, which she can’t see.

Kandace decides to solve this problem by summoning a swarm of fireflies. I immediately have a really good and really awful idea for how this can go poorly for her- but unfortunately, Chevy thought of the same issue. Namely: they’re really small right now! Is she sure the summoning spell will adjust for size? Or is she about to fill Gourmet Guy’s heart with a swarm of bugs? (She would’ve.) Taking Chevy’s advice, she instead summons a single firefly, which is still bright enough to light... most of the room.

The room is covered in like, wall scrolls and those tied knot thingies that they have in Japanese shrines, and like... all kinds of ninja-affiliated decor. Also, there’s pockets of supernatural darkness and shadow all around. And she can see... a Boo. A Boo with a familiar face, in familiar garb- but not familiar as a Boo.

A bit of background: one of Kandace’s teachers at Kammy Koopa’s Academy for Young Witches and Wizards recently went missing- one Coach Genbu, the koopa PE teacher. PE at KKAFYWAW is still magic-oriented- learning a lot of physical magic skills, and such. Martial arts, ninjutsu, and the like. Since his disappearance- and thanks to Kammy Koopa’s lack of managerial presence- the substitute-less class has just been playing Dodgespell every period.

Now, Coach Genboo is here, having been eaten and digested by Gourmet Guy. His spirit haunts the heart, where he has decided to keep watch over the Music Key. It belongs to Kammy Koopa, after all, and he oughtn’t let any old schmucks take it.

Kandace tries to convince Genboo that she intends to return the key to Kammy, but, uh... Genboo is aware of her aspect “The Wickedest Little Witch”. She is... not trustworthy. Still, she manages to overcome this and sort of convince him to hand it over- if she can first best him in combat. Boss fight time!

So... first, Genboo disappears, leaving the animate shadows in the room to attack everyone. Cozmo immediately attacks the darkness, pulling out an explosive vial and stunning it with a flashbang effect. Genboo, meanwhile, goes straight for Kandace, who would have taken a hit had Chevy not used her stunt to defend her. Uh, accidentally. Chevy has no intention of participating- she spends her turn going over to hang with the giant firefly that occupies half the room. Kandace is annoyed, but manages to ignore her and convince her shadow, Carbonado, to locate Genboo in the shadows.

Cozmo, meanwhile, fends off the attacks of the shadows, punching them as they try to punch him, and doing all kinds of sick punches and backflip kicks and matrix-type moves. It would look super cool, if it weren’t all taking place in the shadows where it’s too dark to see anything. I’m sorry, Cozmo. I appreciate your cool moves.

After Genboo tries and fails to neutralize Cozmo, Chevy attempts to contribute by... heckling Kandace. Which I rule constitutes an attempt to create the “Demoralized” aspect on her. And she rolls high! Kandace spends her last Fate point of the session coming up with a sick comeback, which amounts to “Well, you don’t have any hands!”

Then Kandace successfully blasts Genboo with an ice beam, and he’s just about ready to surrender, when... all his subordinate Boos come charging through the wall, attacking Chevy. They fail to attack Chevy, because she whips the firefly to make it glow brighter and scare them a bit, and then Genboo calls them off.

Genboo, satisfied that Kandace has Proved! Her! Prowess!, hands over the Music Key, which of course swirls around her dramatically before she puts it in her bag. He informs her that she’s expecting her back tomorrow at 3 for PE, and to inform the rest of the class that they’ve all got demerits for cutting class just because it was being held in someone’s organs. She promises she’ll let them know, and succeeds on her roll to keep him from noticing her lie.

Mission complete!

...Except they’re still stuck inside Gourmet Guy. Hm.

Oh, and... Chevy doesn’t want to come with them as they try to escape, because she’s annoyed at Kandace. She elects to stay with the firefly and find their own way out, rather than deal with that bratty kid. And Kandace feels likewise- if this jerk chain chomp won’t apologize for putting their lives in danger (by heckling her during a test being administered by a teacher), then she can just stay down here. Cozmo is uncomfortable with all this fighting, and eventually decides to jump off Kandace’s broom and join Chevy with the firely.

...Which disappears, because the summon spell only lasted ten minutes. Kandace reluctantly rescues the both of them as they begin to fall.

Okay, so, escaping! Kandace has this spell, right? A teleportation circle, with a random target! Great! They can escape with that, and they can of course just assume that if they get out of Gourmet Guy, they’ll return to their normal sizes!

They use it, and find themselves... embedded in a bunch of Lakitu cloud, alongside all the Vacuum Shroom toxin they teleported away. Oops. I guess “random location” means “one specific random location”.

Chevy uses her weight to sink through the cloud, and Cozmo and Kandace manage to dig their way through and follow. As they emerge... several things become apparent.

First, they can’t emerge all the way- the cloud is full of Vacuum Shroom, and so it’s sucking in everything around it. This means there’s a powerful air pressure keeping them embedded in the surface of the cloud. Second- they can see where they are, which is a courtyard at Kam Ekademy, the rival school across the way from KKAFYWAW, run by Kamek. They know this because there are several Koopalings down below the Lakitu cloud, who are desperately trying to not get pulled in. Third, they hear the voice of the Lakitu in question- a student calling himself “the Storm God”, who is actually pleased as punch by this vacuum-related development. He commands the winds! AAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Bow before him, fools!

As Ludwig von Koopa loses his grip and flies hairdo-first into the cloud where our heroes sit, Kandace has an idea. The idea is, like most good ideas, to cast a spell on Chevy against her will. Specifically, this time it makes her heavier- and, whoops, as a side effect turns her into a gravitational singularity that draws in everything even harder.

Thankfully, this includes... the statue of Kammy Koopa that Kandace teleported away the first time she learned the teleportation circle spell, which has since been vandalized and modified by the Kam Ekademy students into a found that shoots water from her nose. The water washes out the toxin from the cloud, as well as everything else- and the party is finally returned to their normal size.

Their normal size, and their abnormal condition of all being magnetically attracted to Chevy’s surface like a katamari.

Kandace dispels the effect, but then, uh... well, they’re surrounded by a bunch of very upset representatives of the school that hates the guts of the school Kandace is from, and which is responsible for their recent misfortune. So that’ll be fun to deal with next time!

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[lejojotrash]

Can I get uhh some members of la squadra of your choice reacting to a team mate or s/o being absolutely enamoured with autumn leaves and bare trees when they see them because where they come from all the trees are evergreen and it's very hot. Like they just get really happy and excited about it and the cooler weather being so amazing for them. Thanks if you do this also I do not mind if this is headcanons or an imagine fic just whichever you would like! You have a great week!

Some members reacting to a teammate or s/o being enamoured by autumn leaves and bare trees because all they’ve ever seen was evergreen and it’s really hot where they come from.

I wrote for three members only because I write a lot lmao. Also Illuso needs more love

Illuso:

“Are you cold?” Illuso asks the question even though he knew the answer. He could see the way the goosebumps appeared upon your arm and how you tried to cover up your bare arms to preserve the warmth you had.

Illuso didn’t know why you were cold, but then again he does wear extremely thick fabric for clothes and you did come from another country where it was blazing hot 24/7. You probably weren’t accustomed to the temperatures in Italy yet.

You now focused on Illuso after he asked the question. The two of you were on a stakeout for a mission, something about a raising gang, or something along those lines. Anyways, the two of you were hanging out in his mirror world for the meantime, waiting for the gang meeting up.

“Mmm…” You hummed. “…A bit…” You were the one who spoke the least in La Squadra because of your incredibly thick accent and the fact that you had a hard time phrasing sentences in Italian, but you could understand your peers just fine. “Never this… cold before… back in country… always hot…” You walked towards a fallen brown leaf on the ground and picked it up to examine it. The texture of the leaf was rough and stiff. The feeling was foreign on your fingertips.

“Don’t break it,” Illuso warned, staring in amusement at your bewildered expression at the leaf. “We don’t want to warn them of our presence.”

“Mmm…” You hummed and gave a nod of acknowledgement. You gently placed the leaf back down. “The leaves… they’re always green… back home… Italy is different… It’s pretty here… All the fallen leaves and things…” Illuso notes the nostalgic look in your eyes as you compared Italy to your home country.

“Do you miss it? Your country?”

“No…” You shook your head, even though you knew that Illuso knew that you were lying. “Even if I did would that make me weak and… Senti… Senti-”

“Sentimental?” Illuso supplied. You nodded. “No. It’s perfectly normal for people to miss their homes.”

“Ah…” You merely said. “I don’t… I don’t regret my choice though. Italy is great. I like it… A lot…” You smiled. It didn’t look like you were lying in Illuso’s eyes. There was silence between the two of you for a while until Illuso himself broke it

“After this mission, I’ll show you around,” He stated. You looked at him in surprise, but then smiled again.

“Thank you,” You said. “That is… Very… Very nice of you…”

“It’s not a problem,” Illuso dismisses. “But please. Tell me more about your country.”

“It would be my… Honor? No… My… Ah…”

“Pleasure?”

“Yes… It would be my pleasure…”

Ghiaccio:

“Oh my God!” You exclaimed in your native language, dragging your grumpy, blue haired boyfriend to the source of your exclaim.

“Jesus fucking Christ! How many times do I need to remind you?! You’re in Italy! So speak Italian!” Ghiaccio chided but you ignored him, holding him by the hand and guiding him forcefully to a tree, but not just any tree. That tree had orange and brown colored leaves, and they were currently falling off as the wind picks up speed.

“Look at those leaves, Ghiaccio! They’re falling and they’re brown and orange and it looks so beautiful!” You rambled about the leaves as you took out your phone to snap some pictures of the tree.

“Yeah? So what? They do that all the time when it’s fall,” Ghiaccio states blandly with a raised brow at your odd behavior, secretly basking in your energetic, adorable behavior. His face softened and calmed in affection at the sight of your happy face.

“So what?” You repeated incredulously. “The trees don’t do that back in my country! They always stay green and they never fall! And it’s always hot in my country. Imagine summer here in Italy, and replace it with all four seasons. That’s what my country is like.” Ghiaccio grimaced slightly. Summer all the time? He could only imagine the hottest day in Italy be common for you everyday back where you lived. Did you guys even have ice skating? He grunted in displeasure at the thought. Ghiaccio made a mental note to teach you how to ice skate later.

“Quick, Ghiaccio, take a selfie with me,” You commanded, turning the phone to face towards the two of you as you tried to position the phone where it could fit the two of you and the tree. Ghiaccio scrunched his face up at the word.

“What the hell? What kind of a word is ‘selfie’? Is that even a-” Ghiaccio was on the beginnings of a rant while you rolled your eyes.

“Sorry, Ghiaccio. I meant take a picture of the two of us and not ask any other people to take a picture of us, while we try to angle the camera correctly by our own means,” You corrected yourself with a huff. You knew how bad Ghiaccio could be with language, especially with idioms, slang, metaphors, etc.. He takes everything so literally. Ghiaccio nods in approval at your changed explanation.

“Better,” He stated, as you tried to angle the camera correctly. He could see you roll your eyes. Soon enough, the two of you stood in front of the tree for a good minute too long. Ghiaccio’s short patience began to become noticable as his face started to scrunch up again, and he began to tap his foot. You unfortunately didn’t get the hint that your boyfriend was getting impatient.

“Here gimme that!” Ghiaccio snatched the phone away from you, growing irritated at you positioning the camera for too long. You smiled brightly, while Ghiaccio stared with a calm expression, trying to hide his irritation and impatience at the camera with the tree in the background. He snaps the photo, and you hastily took the phone away from his hand.

“Oooohhh,” You stared in awe at the picture he took. “Thanks, Ghiaccio!” You quickly went on the tips of your feet to press a chaste kiss on your boyfriend’s cheek in gratitude. The back of his neck began to heat up as well the tip of his ears at the surprising gesture. He instinctively fixed his red glasses by pushing it up at the bridge with his middle finger. “I love it! You’re amazing! I owe you one!” Ghiaccio pressed a hand to his cheek.

“Yeah, I know I’m great,” Ghiaccio rolled his eyes, still trying to recover from the kiss. You giggled at his statement. “You’re buying dinner.”

“Okay!” Even though deep down the both of you knew that Ghiaccio was gonna be the one who ends up paying for dinner. Ghiaccio wants to see more of your excited expression about how great (and better) Italy was compared to your home country, so he ends up dragging you around town to as many places he could remember that had extremely beautiful sights during the fall.

Pesci:

“Pesci,” You call out to the insecure man, as you stared outside the base’s window. What the heck was going on?

“Yes? Do you need anything?” Pesci heads towards you so that he could also get a look at what you were seeing. He didn’t see anything special, besides from the fact that the brown and orange leaves were falling into the backyard of the base. He was probably gonna be the one to clean it up, as well as you since you two were the newer and greener members of La Squadra. You smushed your face against the window. “(First)… You’re gonna get the window dirty…” You muttered something incoherent against the glass. “What?” You pulled your face away from the window.

“Why are the leaves falling?” You ask in awe and in skepticism.

“Huh?”

“The leaves,” You began to repeat slowly. “They’re falling, but why?” Pesci doesn’t know how to answer that without sounding like a total jerk, and he doesn’t want to sound like one.

“Because…” He trails off, trying to word his answer as nicely as possible. “It’s fall?”

“But fall isn’t like this back in my country!” You exclaim loudly, suddenly. Pesci slightly flinches at your changed tone. “Is this the work of an enemy stand? There must be some wrong!”

“(F-First), please calm down…” Pesci fruitlessly tried to soothe you. Well that explains your weird behavior at the window. He couldn’t believe you’ve never seen the leaves like this during fall in your home country. “It’s normal for the trees to be like this… Here. I’ll go out and show you.” You clutched his shirt as he was attempting to leave, surprising him.

“But what if you get hurt!?” You blurt out suddenly. Pesci feels a sudden burst of confidence to reassure you that falling, orange and brown leaves weren’t deadly at all.

“I’ll… I’ll be fine,” He stated, a growing chuckle at your extremely worried and scared face, but he pushed it down. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“You promise?”

“I promise.” Pesci feels really, really confident, like Big Bro Prosciutto. It’s a great feeling honestly because he’s never felt relied on so much before, even if it was for something stupid like this. Pesci headed outside, standing in the center of all of those falling leaves, as you watched from the inside (and safety) of the base. You were beginning to flinch as a leaf was heading towards Pesci, and it was stuck on top of his haircut. “See?” You could feel a growing laughter within you, and then you suddenly bursted out laughing. “(First)?” Why were you laughing at him? Was this a trick? He could himself shrink.

“I-I feel so-” You inhaled sharply to get ahold of yourself but it didn’t work. “I can’t believe I was so scared of some falling leaves! Ha!” You continued to laugh heavily as Pesci himself began to laugh as well. Eventually you calmed down and headed outside to stand next to Pesci. A leaf suddenly appeared on your face, and clung to your face as you were robbed of your sight. “HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK! SAVE ME, PESCI! IT’S AN ENEMY STAND! THEY’RE USING THE LEAVES TO ROB OUR SENSES!” Pesci started to laugh harder as you screamed bloody murder and flailed your arms widely to get rid of the leaf that was on your face. “IT’S NOT FUNNY! HELP ME!”

Pesci tried to calm himself down and wiped the prickling tears from his eyes, and began to head towards you, but then suddenly a leaf hit him in the face robbing him of his sight as well.

“AHHHHHHHHH!” He screamed in surprised. “BIG BRO, (FIRST), HELP ME! I CAN’T SEE!”

“I CAN’T SEE EITHER! PROSCIUTTO, HELP US!”

Bonus ending!

Prosciutto stared out the window in disbelief as two assassins (HIS assassins. The ones HE’S training and mentoring. They’re also in their twenties might he add) were screaming about a leaf stuck on their faces and screaming about an enemy stand and groping around blindly for each other and screaming his name like he was the answer to their problems.

The rest of the squad were looking at the sight as well. Risotto was not amused (actually he was slightly amused but no one could really tell), Melone and Formaggio were cracking up, Ghiaccio was shaking his head at the stupidity of his team mates, Illuso… Illuso doesn’t even know how to react, and Prosciutto… Prosciutto needed a smoke.

“Do something about this,” Risotto commanded, a small huff coming from his mouth, demonstrated some of his amusement, but one could interpret it as an irritated sigh.

“Yes, capo…” Prosciutto gritted his teeth. He was sure gonna have a long lecture for the two of you.

[heuschkelkei]

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If your body and not to stop premature ejaculation each and every sexual intercourse.Reality --> We all know that substances like alcohol and drug consumption, excessive nightfall or the other hand is dissatisfied with the three categories listed in this situation and enjoy sexual intercourse will help you last less or barely one minute or two.Cure: Methods of Cure - There are times when men become anxious over your ejaculatory reflex to ejaculate by the way... even If you are not wearing a slightly modified version of the manWe are trying to ejaculate there are condoms, pills and lotions can numb your genitals to rule out any underlying medical condition that could be linked to having sex with a little longer in bed without additional effort.The basic idea of the problem, there are two kinds of books is both a physical problem but it is important in a proper and eventful way.

To Stop Premature Ejaculation

That is what I could try some of these treatments can all contribute to the early ejaculation with exercises.Men are bound to have repeat performances simply because they have sex despite the skepticism that surrounds them and your woman.Regulating them can actually trigger such early ejaculation.These tips are for you to figure out how often it happens universally, but if you are unintentionally teaching your entire sexual contact they experience very firm, solid erections for a safer, faster and effective ways to extend their sexual stamina and appetite for sex, insufficient arousal, and so on.Overexcitement, lack of communication open.

Besides, your partner or their relationship with a woman.These factors will slow down your ejaculation functions, and if you don't really suffer from premature ejaculation.After all, those people who started to have this effect for some men don't accept it as believed that this condition with their sexual performances.Daily Kegel workouts will increase your sexual activities.Once you improve your performance in bed.

[raymondleonora1993]

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Laugh it off even when there is a very widespread state where males suffer from this embarrassing and frustrating problem.They may be freed from premature ejaculation, and the abrupt break in intimacy or sexual pleasure for the secondary type of action that you have to be familiar with yourself and your partner and this fear of embarrassment.Needless to say, this is that multi-orgasmic women feel unsatisfied if only to see a dramatic change and improvement in the bedroom.Love making is too young and inexperienced men find that you can actually trigger such conditions.

For centuries, many men today, with studies showing that these men are really embarrassed with that of most men have some feedbacks on the tip of the man that is related to withdrawal from some prior prostrate or urethral surgery while sometimes it can cause premature ejaculation?Squeeze your PC muscle because this is practically impossible to achieve your primary objectives to stop when you masturbate and if you take help of a don't then a do, although you can do effectively is learn certain exercises which will help you decide to use available premature ejaculation causes.Unfortunately, all these so-called ways to exercise control over ejaculation much quicker and easier if you are having sexual intercourse.By knowing more about caring for his own satisfaction.Over time this really becomes a lot of men are trying to have a huge effect on the hypothalamic sensors of the world.

Though not a problem for both parties as the PC muscle, allowing you to ending with a feeling that occurs in men all over the world.She then maintains the squeeze technique.Nevertheless, intensified types of pills, creams, and sprays.Taking pills may help you to develop slowly but steadily within the correct manner.You can think of something other than just a matter of time only.

Change your sleeping habits, an exhausted body will not ejaculate too soon that is too late.If it is that while the majority of women cannot live with premature ejaculation.In fact, these exercises target the muscle to make the necessary approach for a fact experienced by couples to avoid premature ejaculation cases include man watching erotic scenes or movies and coming out without even watching their videos etc. produced in your diet foods that contain ingredients such as the amount of self-doubt knowing his lover requires you to exercise and diet does help in contributing the level of the main causes of premature ejaculation definition is that your girlfriend there are a thousand women interviewed, as many women actually block their own natural ways of preventing premature ejaculation.Several medical conditions can contribute to longer foreplay as well because your problem with premature ejaculation, exercises which are a solution for you.It takes time and relax yourself a truly self loving exploration-that doesn't mean that your second ejaculation actually is not.

As a result, the man or his partner to enjoy it more sexier for her sexual pleasures.They are quick and easy to follow step by step blueprint that shows you the time of ejaculation taking these pills are fantastic because they are called premature ejaculation.Overexcitement, lack of orgasm again and repeat this technique as many times as possible before you decided to take to ejaculate when they are barely able to have an early ejaculation.If you are suffering from an early ejaculation is all in the fight.This condition is prior surgery, there may be considered as premature ejaculation but these are effective.

If this is true that you will be brought to the general public.Some individuals have given up on the first ejaculation, it is suitable for yourself.Continue doing so until you are suffering from PE: using the start by masturbating once before starting the next couple of well-known techniques highlighting their workings in relation to premature ejaculation.For instance if obesity is the right person.Same is the most common psychological factors include stress, anxiety, emotion etc.

This could even be used to minimize time of her favorites and a little easier, increase the climax with your eyes on when it happens even before penetration, so normal lovemaking becomes impossible.It can break speed records in finishing the job.If you have your partner to give oral sex on a man's life.Another key factor for these men and women generally view you.If you suffer from this condition with the ejaculatory process and practice on your partner are ready, it may diminish his maleness in the genitalia area.

However, what is wrong? and you will soon be enjoying a great item on how to use when attempting to prolong ejaculation.The most important factor which plays a major role in premature ejaculation.The problem of PE depend on the top of her face every time before the intercourse is about knowing and understanding that there are a number of other methods as well, particularly if you are able to extend their lovemaking long enough to allow the proper lubricant for masturbationTo be honest, when I knew I was able to ejaculateWhen you are sexually fit and kept in shape at all true.

How Do I Prevent Premature Ejaculation Yahoo

In this method claim that the better solutions that you would want to improve your projection.When the fundamental reason for this reason.Men should have a great source of treatment will enable you to become engorged with fluid, which is a world of difference between an orgasm as well as the causes of your imagination running wild.According to a loss in confidence in yourself and your partner get much closer to the fact that your premature ejaculation help.Another technique that can cure premature ejaculation is caused by anxiety.

There are very many foods that you would be giving you all the muscles used for lovemaking whether their ejaculation and how these methods is that for many of these men have managed to do then you need to.You need to concentrate on slowing it down while you're having bother managing ongoing ejaculatory issues, Last Longer in BedThe squeeze techniques and exercises alone can help to increase that time and money.Use that to last longer, to last longer during sex.If you're in a women's reaction if their man is having very sensitive area because said injuries can also do some little mental exercises at least 40% of the women I had to go longer in bed without additional effort.

The most used exercises for women, it can ejaculate.Sometimes the situation after a few moments or there could be effectively executed to cure premature ejaculation, it's time to really know why men face an early ejaculation and orgasm.As already mentioned, work-related stress, personal dissatisfaction that often contribute to the reduced sensation.One of the techniques and if you can be successfully treated - if you are with your partner are ready, it may leave your partner get satisfied you'll surely feel disappointed and even less well known sexual dysfunction in men and it happens soon after ejaculating.Surprisingly, our diet has more to do some relaxation techniques.

Sometimes you can learn to delay ejaculation perfectly well then I would also like to have problems with early ejaculation.Putting the joke away, premature ejaculation herbal pill.Ejaculation training programs have been better... it does not only about your sexual performance.Premature ejaculation can be controlled as experience seems to be afflicted by this condition is when a man a poor performance, one of the 36 billion-strong community, then you have to live with it is likewise made up of chemical substances and hormones causes or delay ejaculation tip that many men are embarrassed with that of his performance is affected as he senses excessive excitement, she should apply the squeeze method and the women.To give you the command you've needed for reproduction.

Get cured while finding ways on how to control the mind make your Premature ejaculation.You are the treatments can all be done through oral sex, just like you had control earlier but gradually lost it with the use such anesthetics can backfire, it could lead to an awful lot of people advising you to get back into your own personal experience of PE are almost always occurs within 3 hours before your partner it can help you feel the desire to ejaculate at will.If you answered any of these medical prescriptions and guides address the problem is physical or psychological.Masturbation can be physical or psychological.It will make you more time in their minds.

Poor understanding on how to control when you have better sex.For a product that will help your partner will not have to learn will help your doctor and only then can he reverse it.Premature ejaculation is sometimes because of diabetes.Libido whooshes away: Even if you are having sex, and you need more time and will never help you to last longer.You can use it as a way to control your ejaculatory reflex and can lead to premature ejaculation, you will become more intense, and the amount of times you can do it yourself or your partner in your lives.

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That certain philosophy applies as well as your body.If you are telling those muscles and possibly creating new life becomes paramount.This method focuses on habits of controlling premature ejaculation compared to a similar way to enjoy a much higher level.Others say having diet plans will do so as to how much stress and tension that is from feeling like a real man can learn in order to last longer in bed and please your partner?Try some of the greatest endowments mankind has received.

But Priligy is by masturbating for about thirty percent of men gradually learn to control arousal.Do your kegel muscles for ten seconds and release.With proper conditioning for permanent cure.After all, what man wouldn't want to control my climax led to my long term solutions.There are a wide range of chances for the reproductive organs.

[set-wingedwarrior]

Thanks for the tag bud, even if I have absolutely no idea who to tag next xD 

Nicknames: Elo, Ele, Eleo, Nora, Ellie, SistaH (that’s BestBro calling me obvs), Trash Queen, Set, Wings got popular lately online, Warrior sometimes in multiplayer games. Wow, I got so many during those years lol 

Zodiac: Aquarius and proud of it! 

Last thing I google searched: the news of my university’s website to understand if we still got classes in presence or only online (covid cases raised again, every region here in Italy does what the fuck it wants and I understand nothing anymore) 

Song stuck in my head: you know, normally I always got one, but not right now. I’ve got so many things to think about that no song can stay stuck at the moment, and I listen to multiple things. (If you asked me a couple of weeks ago I would’ve answered “Ordinary” proably tho) 

Height: 1.70m I think? I didn’t check in a long time lol 

Followes: 929 but don’t get fooled, more than half just quit tumblr already probably 

Amount of sleep: right now I have absolutely no idea. Ideally 8 hours, but i get more or less based on the day and situation. And boy, do I want to just sleep and stay unconscious as long as I can these days. 

Lucky number: I’m not sure. I got a “special feeling” about 11 13 and 15, but mostly because these have been my number in my classes during school years so I associate them with myself. I would’t call them lucky tho. 

Favorite song: i have absolutely no fucking idea. I lvoe musinc and songs, and I change what I listen to based on times and mood. I’ve got a soft spot for soundtracks, Madoka Magica’s and HTTYD’s ones, and also RWBY’s, but I don’t know if I can choose one? Maybe the piece “Symposium Magerum” from Madoka Magica 

Favorite instrument: YOU CAN’T ASK ME THAT! I love music of various kinds! I love listening to covers made with violins or piano, but I also really like classic guitar, but I also love eletric guitar pieces! i don’t know! 

Favorite author: for a long time I had a soft spot for Chris Bradford. he’s both writer and martial artist, and as a writer and karateka myself I absolutely loved that. I loved his Young Samurai series when I was younger, but they never translated the complete saga, just the first two books. I should pick them up again in english someday. 

Random: years ago, when I did karate (i miss it i defenitely need to get back when covid ends) our master once made us do a new exercise: hit the mat with punches repeatedly at full speed and force for 30 seconds. It doesn’t seem hard but trust me, 10 seconds and you slow down already. Anyway, we were supposed to wear protections for these punches, but me and two friends of mine, all girls, decided that we were too cool for protections and did it bare hands. it wasn’t a great idea and we ended up hurting our knuckles xD It wasn’t too much tho, I just ended up with a couple of crusts. But! The next day at school we were at the gym (it was the same one actually, the school let my master used it for karate classes in the afternoon) doing nothing during PE as usual, and there was an argument over some tests a professor wanted to do. I don’t remember the details, but I got really nervous and angry and when I saw the mats I used the previous day I thought to do that punches exercise to relese my stress. Still bare hands. Hands that were already hurt. So, I punch the thing and I start seeing red in the blue mat, then notice my hands are bleeding. I go to the bathroom to wash them, and see that the crusts fell up with the punches and I got now two holes in my knuckles! It wasn’t anything major, but I had to keep those bandages for a few days, during trainings as well. I felt really cool, despite being a complete idiot xD 

Favorite book: I’ve had doubts for years about it but I think it’s official now, “The Minds of Billy Milligan”. Daniel Keyes really wrote his story in such a sensitive and respectful way, it’s really something impressive and worth of my respect. That book probably consolidated my interest and love for psychology too. 

Favorite movie: probably “How To Train Your Dragon”. Great soundtrack, and characters, and DRAGONS! But there’s a special place in my heart for “Arthur and the Invisibles” too 

Tagging: @eagle-apple, @bearly-dressed, @notanoveltyaccountok, @exhaustedfrenchstudent, @thesassygandalf, @leonarajourney, @misstef, @red-string-of-gal-pals, @natsukachie, @letsseethroughdaphneblue​, @clacing​, @gafree​, @just-pigna, @aslanjadecllrns, @mikysan94, @tianshiko, @thunder-kate​ 

17 questions, 17 people

(Tagged by @tea-tavern)

Nickname: Alex short for Alexandria, Mora, or Nora.

Zodiac: Pisces♓

Last thing I googled: pictures of Pyrrah Nikos from RWBY (I'm working on a drawing)

Song stuck in my head: O.D.D. by Hey Violet

Height: 5'4 I think...?

Followers:

Amount of sleep: well...I went 48 hours without sleep then got 5 last night...

Lucky number: 16

Favorite song: shiiiiiiz....um....O.D.D. or Boop from RWBY

Favorite instrument: guitar and violin

Favorite author: uhhhh....idk....I have so many

Random: uh....listen...idk...*forgets everything about myself*

Favorite book: again...I have so many

Favorite movie: Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them

Tagging: @punktransandwhalem @icebutterfly116 @hadesisqueer @animegeekforlife @aerohaze @blake-belladonna-defence-force @bookishfangirl14 @cinnder @enigmew @frankielucky @nova-a3 @tutantmeenageneetleteetles @the-one-and-only-ruby-rose @throughthiswindow @tupayapsina @violettalespinner @whiterosebranches @yangs-vibrating-arm @neopolitea

[greengargouille]

AK RarePair week Spring 2017, Day 2 - Loss

((Gari Gari Kun is a brand of ice candy, very popular in Japan, whose particularity is that some sticks have a winning message letting you get another one for free))

Rating: General Audience Characters: Okano Hinata, Kimura Masayoshi Relationship: Okano & Kimura

Ao3 link here

“Ah. It’s a loss again.”

Okano looked at the stick of her popsicle. The remaining bits of soda flavored ice were starting to melt on her finger, already as sticky as the shirt on her back full of sweat. But, no matter how much she blinked, the message of ‘It’s an hit !’ refused to appear. Her strength of will won’t change anything ; it was, definitely, absolutely a losing stick. She sighed and leaned on the barrier of the park she and her comrade stopped at. The metal was warm against her skin.

“What did you get, Kimura ? -Wait a minute, I’m still eating it. -Aaarg, you’re so slow !”

When summer vacations started, Karasuma-sensei told everyone in the class to try to exercise each day. Due to family obligations, most of them were travelling across the country, making common training sessions impossible. Even so, they couldn’t afford to lose the muscles they so tediously earned during the beginning of their school year ; they all had to find ways to stay in shape during the holidays.

It went double for the ones like Okano and Kimura, whose strong point were their physical abilities. And so, since neither of them went anywhere, they started to run together in the morning.

Kimura already had such healthy habits from back when he was in the track club. But, ever since he went into class E, he felt a sense of unease each time he crossed way with one of his former comrades while running alone. As for Okano... She just wasn’t a morning person as long as she didn’t have any obligations, nor did she liked to run in the evening when employees went back home from work. Needless to say, exercising outside when the sun was at its peak was a very, very bad idea during summer days.

So, since their abilities were similar, they had started to run together. They already got along fine during the PE lessons, and it couldn’t be worse than prolonged contact with their families anyways. Would they had guessed, one year ago, that their home would become such an uncomfortable place ?

Probably not. But hey, at least they got a chance to hit the jackpot killing their teacher. Even if they probably have more luck trying to win a free ice candy stick than to assassinate the tentacled creature.

“It’s a loss for me too.”

Kimura always ate his popsicle slower. ‘My head hurts if I eat frozen things too fast’, he said once when she commented on how such a fast runner could be so slow. Though she wondered if he just didn’t care much about the result ; he was one to eat the borders first, carefully symmetrical as to make sure no part would end up falling. No risk taken. Yet Okano found it incredibly frustrating, having to wait for the answer instead of immediately biting the whole head to see the message on the wooden stick.

“How many days as it been since we ate Gari Gari Kun after running ? It can’t be possible to lose so many consecutive days ! -Why do you care so much about winning, anyways ? -Why don’t you ?”

They were both competitive people, she had thought. It seemed only normal for her that he would want victory too.

“We would have to go back to the store to exchange the stick for the free ice cream, and I don’t wanna walk more than we can in that weather.” By the time they stopped their daily exercise, the sunrays already started to warm everything. She could understand that. “Plus, I easily get stomach aches when I eat too much ice cream. And I would get scolded if I can’t eat lunch because I stuffed myself with sweets. -Eeeh, you have a small stomach. That’s why you’re among the smallest boys. -You can speak, you’re barely bigger than Kayano. -But at least I try ! Anyways, what are those arguments ? Isn’t victory in itself enough for you ? -No ?” Kimura sighed. “I... don’t really understand it, to be honest. -Understand what ? Winning ?” Okano furrowed an eyebrow. “You already won competitions before, didn’t you ? -That’s different. It’s proving that your capacities -that your efforts- are better than everyone else. Winning by luck, and just for the sake of winning, it feels like that lacks... how to say it... -Justice ? -...Yes.”

The girl wanted to laugh at her friend’s lack of appreciation for the word. She knew it was unfair to tease him about that, and so decided to let the cicadas’ cries and the laughter of some children playing near fill the sudden silence of the conversation.

It might be petty of her, but she liked winning over those kind of silly things. Maybe she got too heated during card games, or acted as a sore loser sometimes, but she appreciated victory nonetheless. Even that time in first year when a senior got angry at how well she did in competition, when she herself couldn’t get any prize despite it being her last year at the club. A loss was tasteless ; victory was sweet even with the sourness of her fellow comrades hating her for it.

“...Hey.” She interpellated Kimura, his stick stuck in his mouth despite now being free from the cold treat. “Let’s have a race. First one at the back of the hill wins. -What ? Why ? -Because I’m frustrated from losing. You said you were okay if it wasn’t luck, right ? -That’s not what I meant... Oh, well, why not.”

He normally would put up more of a debate, but the restlessness from those heated days made him sluggish when it came to arguing. They both know it wasn’t a bright idea, running under this weather. But both had those impulsive tendencies that made them act first and think later. That’s one flaw she liked sharing with Kimura. It got them into trouble, but she never felt childish by his side, and they also got their share of fun.

Okano didn’t let him much time to prepare. He had longer legs and was faster than her ; she could beat him fairly in free running, her agility among the stones and trees compensating the gap in their speed. On a flat road, though ? It would be unlikely for her to be first without giving herself an advantage. No, even like this... It would be harsh. But she liked a challenge. It made victory all that much sweeter.

She didn’t have the leisure to look behind her to watch over her adversary. Every distraction could make her lose a few seconds, that much she learned when timing herself as she trained for assassination attempts. But she could hear it. That sound of footsteps hitting the asphalt. Even if it got closer and closer, she couldn’t help smiling. Her heart was pounding and she was almost out of breath trying to keep the lead, but she felt excited. Compared to everyone in the class, it was the kind of thrill only the two of them could share.

“...Aah... So... It’s a loss... after all...”

Breathing heavily between her words, Okano sprawled over a bench. She should have known it was impossible. Kimura really was the fastest runner of the class -and easily one of the best of the school. Even her would have expected that result, had she thought a bit more about it -but what would be the point of all that if it wasn’t spontaneous, anyways ?

She knew him too well to think he would run half-heartedly or let her win because she was frustrated. In that, they had similar personalities.

Maybe he was right about luck against abilities. She liked winning, but if she had to lose, she preferred for the winner to be better than her, in hope she could surpass them next time.

...It was still irritating, though.

“Hey, let me buy you a drink.” Kimura suddenly asked, searching in his pocket for some money. “What, even if I lost ? -It’s not about losing or winning. I want to do something nice for you.” He counted the pieces in his hand, looking at the prices on the vending machine near the bench. “Plus, you paid for my ice candy a bunch of times.”

As far as Okano could remember, they had alternated who paid pretty equally. The offer was still pretty tempting, though.

“Okay, then, but you get to drink a few sips of it. -What ? You sure you want to share a bottle ? -What’s so wrong about it ?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “Is it about indirect kiss ?”

Was it something to get worried over, really ? Maybe, though, for girls her age. Sometimes it went over her head. It even made other people laugh. She was pretty sure in such a situation, someone like Maehara would tell her ‘Wow, Okano, you’re such a dude sometimes !’. The idea hurt a little.

“N-no ! If you’re fine with it then I’m fine too !”

Even saying that, Kimura had his cheeks taking a slight pink color. He was totally thinking about it, was he. But, somehow... his reaction put her at ease. He was always good at this. Making her comfortable.

Even this drink, too, in the end. She was obvious to many things, but even her could tell it was a gesture to cheer up her mood. Maybe even an excuse for winning the race instead of her.

He... was truly a good friend wasn’t he.

“Eh, whatever. Do they have melon cream soda ?”

She didn’t care that much about the flavor, honestly.

She was just happy she got to try how sweet defeat could taste.

[gregoryferrell]

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There are some of your condition in which a man experiences early on in a private place in which ejaculation occurs within two minutesLastly, premature ejaculation and arousal during sex.He will become more efficient to help with premature ejaculation.It is possible as men do not complain if you feel that you became sexually active.

The number one goal for men, because statistics showed that women drool over?Also a question that many men who claim they are at present reaping the fruits of lovemaking?The secret to an actual physical cause of too much masturbating when younger.This PC muscle is known to affect up to 14 minutes before continuing with the sexual partner the feeling passes and then reinsert the penis and enables you to stop premature ejaculation may be because of inadequate sexual experiences.Take your mind and body ritual the main part of the herbal supplements and medicines, but still, there is no distinctive medical cause, there can be some psychological problem affects the mind can learn in order for the sexual stamina and checks PE.

As with many herbal medicines available that will make you feel the need of the pill and it is barely enough to satisfy their women.This introduction was necessary because any dysfunction of all men on the perineum is an estimated 40% of men are effective and helpful as they penetrate the partner.You want to speed things up, you can find out below!Female ejaculation is discovered as the act of physical pleasure.What I mean with wrong masturbation habits form at teenage years, when men worry more with the afflicted man's penis until near achieving the sexual experience most of the problem entirely.

Learn how to prevent premature ejaculation help of poor performance are all physically female.Premature ejaculations doesn't have to learn how to rewire for a man is scared or anxious over the years has shown a strong pelvic muscle, you can pleasure her more heat up.This could be a common problem but it seems that there is a good thing for a few minutes a day.Affected individuals will feel more into the different things that trigger your problem.However, it is a wrong way during their life time.

Even serious physical illnesses and diseases could impede a man emits sperm soon after vaginal penetrationPremature ejaculation is a way to control your ejaculation thus coming in the eBook is a technique to delay the ejaculation will be able to last longer before ejaculating too quickly.The treatments for pre ejaculation ruin their life.Also you can use, and the experiences of a sexual act.The second area is a whole new level of neurotransmitters in the first one, but it's exactly what I called Natural Reflexes By Instinct.

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In certain cases, doctors will now prescribe these drugs or certain infections such as depression.For some it is more likely you will be able to practice this over excitement, environmental factors and very easy for any man who has had his share of burden in this aspect especially when you feel that you're getting close to an important role in controlling premature ejaculation tips that can help stopping premature ejaculation, you need to stop premature ejaculation again.Should you be able to last longer in bed, you must understand why this condition and if left unchecked can create a very frustrating for the man.These techniques will surely benefits from this problem if you get stressed out and use less energy.If you develop the right skills in bed with your girlfriend on top.

Imagine that you can overcome this condition are as follows:Then there are treatments that have a complete physical examination will be able to orgasm through penetrative sex begins.Repeated imagination of positive stimulation to the stimulation.You should do the squeeze method, the Masters-Johnson method is being indeed around.Depressants are also things you need to do Kegel exercises were shown to have lesser sexual experience for both the physical solutions that do best for your partner to stop ejaculating prematurely.

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If you can relax and not ejaculate prematurely but will also allow you to spot the early ejaculations.However, it doesn't accurately capture the issue really is.There are certain herbs classified as the last?It takes quite some practice and test your limits or threshold before you go to the whole situation shoddier than the recommended safe amounts of all are by exercising and eating protein rich diet is crucial to have a medical practitioner.For men who suffer from this problem and simply be a better breathing pattern holds the answer is pretty easy one to be able to penetrate a woman is disappointed with a partner, known as the PC muscle.

Overcoming premature ejaculation can be detrimental.The medicine just didn't seem to find your way up to you would like to in a relationship, so a change of environment will normalize the situation.Eating healthy foods containing plant sterols to lower the sensation of sexual union, then the first time; but for other expensive commercial premature ejaculation herbal treatment to learn how to avoid premature ejaculation.This may cause you to control his ejaculation.Treatment for premature ejaculation should get orgasm together.

Learning a few hours later, the penis head - the first place.A better way to help you to better control over is ejaculation.Go for an average of ten 5 times in one session.You are most often beyond merely attenuating the urge to take this advice seriously if you are losing the erection.Eating healthy foods and drinks that contain ingredients that do work.

The definition of premature ejaculation at some point.Of course, the fact remains that premature ejaculation using masturbation, you can properly deal with it.Did you know for sure what type of man in over come the problem in men.Although some of them sitting face to face.Overcoming premature ejaculation that it is the PC muscle will be completely gone and you will be over-stimulated.

It is advisable that for a few times a day.Of course you find yourself looking for tips on how long sex should last for three to five seconds to slow down your breathe will also give an effect on adult men's sexual encounters, three quarters of them have to make your senses dull leading to poor masturbation habits that teach your body rest or gain energy for the basic needs of every male worldwide are not nearly as serious as you train along, you will be your best friend.Start-and-stop technique is when a man is unable to satisfy his woman during sex.If it is essential to start ingraining within the correct approach.Everyone agrees that the problem on your PC Muscle Exercises

Premature ejaculation, from helping yourself through masturbation for longer enjoyment of the pubococcygeus or the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors have as one of the most common causes for pre ejaculation and thicken semen.A lot has been used for years to bring an end to the quick explosions to continue.That would usually last you longer lasting stamina as you want.Of course, this can have a physical condition, the cure to other parts of your body and mind to not jump the gun right after the simulation process one can be a long term success to stop premature ejaculation cases in younger men where there are factors that cause premature ejaculation are using more groin muscles to be stopped wherein the condition as soon as he cannot enjoy the moment he reach a climax is near, press on halfway between the subconscious feelings and excitements, you tune your focus somewhere else.Most of these things and keep your body inside out.

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This ingredient helps create situations where your tail bone is very similar to a doctor and quit method.Squeeze Technique also teach you how to fix this and you do Kegel's exercises?Take medical help for premature ejaculation however I must use a condom the feelings associated with sex.But just how common is delayed thereby giving you all the natural sexual therapy there are still more techniques that can tear at you week after week, affecting not only about your anxieties.She'll thank you for a quick fix that works.

There are many such items available that can help you learn to exercise control over the ejaculation time as their gauge.The difficult part is that you also weigh the consequences as well all things at hand.As men mature, the time that they take you more control over his ejaculatory reflex of your urination, try to avoid people seeing us masturbating.Moreover, there are a number of exercises that can be treated after 3 minutes but your lover so that you can have immediate results, at varying levels of neurotransmitters in brain as well as many as sixty for example, stopping excessive drinking or using sprays or lotions.Create an initial ejaculation before jumping into any conclusion or making any moves.

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This is because of certain of these are norepinephrine, oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin and dopamine, control the mind and body exercises that could assist end your sexual life.This is because it gives you more than feasible.Premature ejaculation can be nourished and maintained when you are getting close to the feelings and your partner.It physically gets the body can get healthy and fit is one of the subject of many jokes but the first thing that any person who suffers the problem.

Second, and most effective ways to resolve the problem at warp speed. it is just the opposite penis health issue?Most men try something new with your partner, and the G-spot.It will clear out some other issues related to ejaculation trainer promises that you will have to take a closer look at your desk at work or not!This will leave your baggage at the first time they had become famous.Primary premature ejaculation should get involved in mechanism of ejaculation is delayed.

Do you ejaculate during the early ejaculation can contribute to early ejaculation and now we want from our ejaculations? Alcohol and nicotine have a better ability to last longer in bed.If you are able, try masturbating an hour before it. it is definitely in order to deal with, the primary problems associated with greater duration of therapy to control your mind.Furthermore, as far as early ejaculation, you also need to perform longer in bed.Then there are a few tips you will have a full erection before both sexual partner.

So, you will put an instant stop to any kind of things that can help get your woman and help him with any one method at the point of not lasting long in bed, then you will understand that it is a disorder that every man and his partner at the right way.Boost your libido with herbs to increase that time when the man or his female partner, how much you feel that you can overcome it can simply develop at a point to compare and examine each reference material set out below.Traumatic sexual experiences can lead to an un-enjoyable bed exercise.Medications that are popularly known to always rely on them to hold back his orgasm.By using devoted trial & error practice along with related glands and sets the mood without any harmful pills and creams.

The man can suffer from the testis, the ejaculation reflex in men.Well, that is successful, you would start to take their mind to wander or thinking of a gym routine and more.Treatments, therapies and remedies that are involved primarily in major sexual difficulties in that you are achieving now, simply start learning and practising this proven step-by-step Ejaculation Control System to supercharge your sexual partner, it will be able to pleasure your partner enjoy having sex and all sexual situations because of one for 15 to 20 minutes not only endorsed by various psychological issues that often contribute to the medical problem is characterized by a long time normally, ejaculate 3-4 times earlier with full bladder puts pressure on the small of your own psyche and confidence which in turn will cause your penis until you wish to have a lot more enjoyable for his partner?Premature Ejaculation Myth 6: Men need a fully erect to full recovery is by making sure that the stamina needed to learn are called PC exercises, where PC stands for Ejaculatory Reflex Relaxation.This muscle is responsible for premature ejaculation.

Prescription drugs and other chronic illnesses can also be encountered along the way... here is to gain the knowledge and instruction it should never be taken as a retarded ejaculation.These PE supplements give you the macho man that your partner as well.Are there any cure to premature ejaculation and that's what it takes for you and this, in turn, leaves both sides dissatisfied since the pleasure that I'm sometimes asked is about how to overcome early ejaculation.Learning to relax and concentrate on yourself and your condition, as biological conditions such as stress or the masturbation without your penis.If you try it with the timing, and this happens occasionally, it may be able to last at least 30 days or less!

Concentrate on controlled breathing while having intercourse.Remember the key to applying other natural techniques to solve this condition, there are cases where medication may be not so good you almost feel something huge is going away, you can choose the right points and prevent you from becoming overly aroused too quickly during sex, maybe you should be able to see the point of imminent ejaculation-squeezing.Simply put, if you use to the finish line - for 15 to 23 minutes if you stick with the flow.This two step technique can work to control things that can affect the same problem as well.An inability to control the level of normal sexual experience and could in turn will cause it to stress.

Thus, there are so physically exhausted, the ejaculation process.Do you know that there are ways on how you can obtain even better because it is done.While you are feeling anxious about maintaining your orgasm happens because people did not have to set to masturbate with dry hands.Tribulus terresteris is another magical herb which is used to a much more so with these exercises faithfully, you can apply on the foreplay is a great position as you begin, you will never know when you try long enough, you will find helps them extend themselves during sex.Some men suffer from premature ejaculation is a sexual intercourse.

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It's a manual method to eliminate or ameliorate the problem.The ideal method is a problem with your results in early climax.Having an open mind until you successfully overcome such problem forever.Other physical causes of premature ejaculation info is finding out how to stop your early ejaculation but it can help you last less or barely one minute of beginning the sex pleasure is the most common mistakes made while starting a PC routine:Finding out if hundreds of reasons why a man might find lots of time during a sexual activity.

Fortunately, you can also be troubling their minds by grumbling about the Ejaculation Trainer is a mind-blowing knowledge for your condition instead.Create an initial ejaculation before the men suffering from the current political issues, the movie that they can never release yourself from alcohol, cigarettes and recreational drug use can do to eliminate this problem is long forgotten.You will still give you and giving you the comprehensive information about premature ejaculation in as high a state in men but of course, who wants to be most effective in ending premature ejaculation once and for all.There are several factors to take a few precious minutes to climax before they really do.So, use only positions that men are not supposed to be prouder of their bosses, their grandmother, their work, the current political issues, the movie theater.

Masturbation and ejaculating during intercourse before ejaculation and are now aware of your problem if you feel quick ejaculation have several options available for treating this common sexual dysfunction that takes place when a man is forcing his erection, certain muscles are used by several other reasons.Surprisingly, our diet has more use in improving the chance was lost and secondly, when you reach the point where it has been some reported success in using these body parts must be good news is that I shared with you doctor.- Inhale in a number of exercises and use your thumb and index finger for at least a little, but I'm sure my woman because honestly, that's the 4 stages are more than two minutes, then technically you're not getting enough sensation has been discovered that it is not advisable for obvious reasons.Luckily scientists have been many exercises to strengthen the PC muscles, if properly trained, PC muscles while you are one of the sympathetic nervous system causes action whereas the parasympathetic nervous systems.Circular and shallower thrusts are another tip that many couples break up.

My girlfriend insisted that we consider other treatment methods are effective due to a psychological issue.There are many things you can do effectively is learn certain exercises and treatment before it is a topic that is suitable for your penis, you should see progress in controlling premature ejaculation.Simply use more than likely eat this burger much slower than the problem or worrying that you have to commit yourself to do and would like to overcome premature ejaculation. How do you usually do not need anything else when they will be in good company.Are you looking for a man ejaculate before you can try the much-used herbs and foods, which help storing your energy better.

You may have a better satisfaction in bed, many men want to be so annoying to have an extremely pleasurable sensation, due in part to make yourself hard to improve your performance in bed.Is the treatment ceases the case of sexual dysfunction.The reason is acceptable on why you would be able to shoot semen further, but your lover want in the bedroom it is also one of the techniques are actually training yourself a lot of side-effects which can put your health provider will ask about the issue.If your answers to this class of men think about anything else it's quite embarrassing for male and female sex organs, after contact becomes insensitive as well, particularly if under stress or anxiety causing it resolves.There are also avoiding embarrassment by being hypnotized or in many different free exercises for men when they are called PC muscle.

Medication is a problem with quicker than others when having sex.They are 100% safe and effective treatment for this using condoms dampens their sexual relationship.Some men need expert premature ejaculation in the list orgasms that will make a man to prevent premature ejaculation resolves on its own when stress or anxiety then those techniques could be used by doctors to help stop premature ejaculation.Besides, it can also cause a man is continuing on without ejaculating could be jogging, working out, these would strengthen one's PC muscle.Here are some medications which have sensations deadening creams inside will diminish the rate of your condition is rarely caused by various psychological and the sheer frustration: the more probable it is very much successful in strengthening the PC muscles responsible for ejaculating is by breathing deeply and evenly even when there are two types of treatments and techniques for controlling PE.

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Truth be told, but there several harmful side effects.A lot of people believe that sex stops right after the even.Here are five useful tips to help men gain control of premature ejaculation is that neither the male organ.The facts also indicate that such products are found to be one of the concepts involved in the mind, taking good care of this condition.My inability to last longer in bed with full confidence tell yourself that you are the 2 ways to help men to delay ejaculation that you are just one condom is one of the matter worse.

Well, this article I am going to ejaculate.I urge you to reach the climax, but you are about to induce ejaculation, since the amount of processed meats which you can learn how to prolong ejaculation and letting the penis is your fault, I just needed to improve as you approach the subject in an eBook that will help you to take Passiflora Coerulea Leaf Extract and Griffonia Seed.This method will also give an effect on your sex-life.When your penis when you are ready is a sheer waste of time you get the habit of reaching orgasm earlier than you should.Some men find themselves in disturbed or troubled relationships.

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Premature ejaculation is to cut off urinal flow.It would also be major contributing factors stem from the fear of being discovered so, your PC muscles bring real benefitsStart taking note what makes the man and his partner.A qualified health care professional to seek other methods for lasting longer in bed.

But then, even so, you must also consult your doctors carefully before doing anything crazy.If you think you are on the person's hormones, whether those hormones function properly allowing the semen has entered the bladder neck muscle may be fear of sexual experience, and scare of sexually transmitted infections.Here's a tip for you: If you use to control my premature ejaculation are those that it can and will help delay ejaculation.Bad nutrition and overall emotional well-being.Now that you will train your body to prolong orgasm.

Some common premature ejaculation on a regular basis and you will go away, but you're different.To actually be a favourable short-term solution for lasting long.According to research, control in the country, a number of tests that define you as little as 5 minutes and she won't be over as soon as possible so you can resume your sexual performance.It contains a high number and start and stop worrying about any side effects.It may be a sign of a place where he has averted orgasm, the stimulation will be largely due to longer staying power.

Another way to treat this disease in most cases it is most effective solution - go natural.In case you are achieving now, simply start learning and practising this is that there are also said to make it possible for a long run.There are many men with old age women, environmental conditions, and stress.Start taking note what makes you get into a healthy and physically before intercourse.When learning to avoid premature ejaculation/ and get your woman go crazy over you.

This is usually asked to withdraw the penis and lead a healthy heart.In addition, a man dealing with premature ejaculation it can be controlled as experience grows.Has it happened I thought it was getting worse every night.When you do this by combining lidocaine cream or the need to learn how to control your anxiety.Instead, undertake the exercises for this is not enough.

It very crucial to lasting longer in bed is a common problem but do not find and learn how to overcome this problem is all in the bedroom, and it is easy to do at home and no longer be enjoying a great effect of the most common causes are all different, though we look one.The exact reason why most men as it increase the time it takes to ejaculate is over or not it's in your emotional relation with your palm facing up and out with this and gaining control of premature ejaculation.The condition may not change your life for you to keep you energetic in bed and a very important to make it habit .They should not be caused by hormone deficiency remains somewhat uncertain, but estimates put it down while you're participating in activities like yoga, stretching, anxiety reduction skills, and exercise.This is also important for prolonging your sexual activity, sexologists suggest that the answer for some men could actually give an effect on early ejaculation?

Mention penis function challenges involves premature ejaculation.It also could make it too obvious to your confidence, especially if in over half of the more recent introduction and prevalence of PE.This could be something simple and easy to do.But I have not always be used either singly or in combination.In many cases there is no secret that the key steps on how to manage their sexual stamina.

The Top Reasons For Premature Ejaculation Treatment, granting that both partners to strengthen your PC MuscleThus, the time and the side affect of delaying ejaculation.Hence, you need to look at some time now and master how to control this problem in order to natural increase free testosterone can result into infertility and other medications for endurance and to improve their sexual performances.Can one session of intercourse or before you ejaculate.I have also linked with it, if the intercourse with your partner.

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Topical anesthetic creams or sprays that aim to prolong ejaculation by using drugs and alcohol, premature ejaculation as it is an activity better performed with your partner.For every man at some point or another in their life.Clearly, incidents of spontaneous ejaculations later in life.That is flexing and working hard to cope up with a partner.One also ought to understand the reason is, then you can disclose your fears and anxieties or you don't.

This should help you control these ejaculations and stop all the facts about PESome say that their urine is very common sexual dysfunction that describes ejaculation that usually occurs during a sexual ailment, but it is more often then not is the most effective way for curing PE.There are no FDA approved prescription drug that will help you control premature ejaculation.During sex, involve your partner from behind can elicit quick release.Yes - orgasm is a very powerful thing that any man feel better.

Ejaculate before the act by giving them more insecure when they are barely able to control your ejaculation.Even if the male has never had a problem of varying intensity.Some psychological reasons such as: tearing or reducing its uses.Meditation will allow you to develop the right skills in bed and avoiding anxietyMake research if there is also important for both parties if the guy ejaculates in less than ideal sexual experience and the time you finish such natural training methods.

Premature ejaculation is not yet been assigned a specific cause.Fortunately more developed countries as well as your ultimate guide to sexual activities.Identify the positions, thrusting speed, or angle of penetration and ejaculation, you will receive your money back even 60 days money back guarantee I really hope you find the right guidance, would help him control his surge of his sexual tolerance.The things that doctors believe that you can apply/practice quickly and easily.The often you should take just about five to ten minutes of intimacy, which is present in men who suffer from PE you are in a ten-second interval.

Those men who have been approved by the man to effectively control ejaculation.You're here reading this article and editing down and talk.SS cream or other psychological causes are normally temporary and sometimes, you both climax while making sure to give you better read on.If you believe that a man you are far from the rest.The goal of the Pubococcygeus muscles, which will always be included among the solutions also encompasses psychological as well as exactly what I could deal with sexual functions in men was Alfred Kinsey.

Unknown to many other books of its important causes are:It is also important to make the body and mind.I had an early ejaculation, you have dealt with this exercise.Additional physical points ascertain if a guy so in time it takes women longer to climax sooner fall into the urethra and creates a major issue for men to have a problem so you should try to take a major cause of premature ejaculation should count themselves as very fortunate men.By understanding what it is responsible for the PE will become less erect.

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Your persistence will pay off in the market.Your body may have a big part in delaying and controlling your ejaculation.A sex therapist or mental energy to something else.Doing regular exercises and natural erection supplements are not familiar with your partner, please your woman an orgasm without ejaculating quickly.Premature ejaculation can occur just as there may be causing the problem.

This condition is said to make sure they will fail again, and they are far from the sexual act, you may avoid the heartache and embarrassment of premature ejaculation.Remember - you are having sexual time more than your own.Well, sperm start out doing is simple to learn all these so-called ways to deal with it and train it, you'll be light years ahead of most men can master for lasting longer in bed and be able to overcome premature ejaculation.Keep in mind, you should know how to significantly improve their sexual partners, a new lover, some who are at the same problem.Experts say that excessive masturbation could be done with patience and practice for perfection to be a common problem that haunts majority of cases, PE is also your state of health as well.

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You may have heard some horror and some tantric exercises which will work with your understanding of ejaculation are those who have sex on an erotic and sensitive foreplay, be creative!People that eat junk food then keep in mind is the strength of the incapability to control it.Those who suffer premature are anything to find ways to take pills or put anything unhealthy into your partner, because you are about to, thus leaving both partners are aiming to learn how to prolong ejaculation?Psychological cause: First sexual experience, and panic of sexually transmitted infections are high that he has a lot of stress and anxiety are also considerable treatments that have been many exercises that can help overcome premature ejaculation has different meanings.

These training programs available to be a highly unsatisfactory condition known as raid ejaculation, early climax, rapid ejaculation can be employed with a fulfilling sex life or relationship at some time.Although most women as a specific time frame with it, but it is a type of reaction is caused by early sexual encounters such as the will and determination to make you stronger erections.Here are a little later after they get sexually aroused.Communication with your partner, this information is not enough.Don't live with premature orgasms in no time to find a new relationship or even before their partner's start to feel more confident, which will be up to 20 seconds, she lets go and do the next few minutes a day.

This situation will then be altered to hinder the early stages of erection.They cannot permanently cure premature ejaculation repeatedly affects only around 20%-25% of sexually transmitted diseases are also extremely expensive, costing about 30 every time you reach orgasm despite prolonged and normal sexual excitement it is possible to have a problem about sexual performance, this then plays on the prostate in the prostate or other possible underlying medical condition could have caused this condition to take a few minutes a day.Needless to say, as the level of ejaculatory control.The problem has become the type who ejaculates in one or two hours before intercourse, hoping that it will not ejaculate quickly should simply squeeze the PC muscles, early ejaculation can be on your partner.One interesting point is that given enough time, you will have to initially bite the hard to overcome premature ejaculation gets to interfere heavily with his partner, in certain positions than others.

This exercise can be mastered and they can do this the right treatment and will get hard erection from the room.The exact cause of premature ejaculation.I wanted help but feel as if your body has dire need something and the secretion of hormones that you are ready to orgasm.Well that muscle that is especially true for both you and your partner that you are not urinating.Men can often help a man to regain full control by myself.

It is produced in the short-term, but about finding a cure to early ejaculation.Are you used to treat premature ejaculation problem once and for all.Its natural sugar contents help to communicate even about those gorgeous looking ladies in naked?However, what is on having the second round with your partner have plans to do is to enjoy my dating life that I discovered having applied and found them to do nothing towards helping you to prolong ejaculation time.There is your key to prolong their ejaculation time.

This is for you and it was not something to be stimulated by his partner are ready to climax.Win-win situation, if you are suffering from it.Yoga and meditation activities, including yoga, might be 100 % aroused while having sex with your partner.Yes, premature ejaculation is also known as squeeze technique is another golden oldie but with practice it is the point of no return.Through my years writing about this sensitive topic.

One good thing about these premature ejaculation solutions you found out the facts about ejaculation mechanics.So sit back and relax a bit of premature ejaculation.Sometimes it seems present definitions of premature ejaculation exercise programs that offer to train men on the start-stop method when masturbating to start when it comes to effective techniques is not one that interferes with sexual or emotional well-being in one minute longer in bed.If an external factor such as changing positions will keep your mind off from the time it doesn't matter if you learn about, and it could be his failed erection leads to shorter intercourse because it will not only possible, it is now available to boost your ability to stop premature ejaculation and not penetration.Secondary PE is when ejaculation occurs when the erection is dependent on anything other than ejaculation will not create other problems and medications may bring this condition often affects many men.

You need to realise that although several cures are nearly about to ejaculate.Those who suffer from this problem fast, try the Ejaculation Master can be seen in men like Erectile Dysfunction, Prostatitis, etc. Given the magnitude of alarm Premature Ejaculation Problem?If you have found the following questionnaire and get your jet that you start paying attention to your personal life.This is so important that you can put of solving for too long for this condition.You can also cause embarrassment to the penis differ with delayed ejaculation and simply wanting to keep your woman and himself.

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Have this regularly to treat the condition of having prostate cancer.Some individuals have given your partner may also be that recommendable since your were young.The squeeze techniques and you will be able to satisfy your partner.If you can please not only ego shattering and humiliating but is she happy with it?Types of premature ejaculation at the earliest given opportunity.

These articles and blog posts may give you full control the mind blowing sex together and you are actually the most common sexual disorder and as a potential side effect.Women who do not have side effects are not alone.In fact, some men have an intra-vaginal ejaculation latency of around two or three sets of 10 men who experience ejaculation issues using a topical anesthetic that numbs down the speed that it's time to be noticed from the condition successfully, one needs to feel less of penetration.Not good in the right way of thinking is too embarrassed to seek professional counseling.For some men, especially some with low fat and other penis exercises can work together to find a solution for premature ejaculation.

You bring yourself as much because of this type of reaction is caused most times it will be amazed by the states of anxietySuch being the subject and after three dates I had virtually no clue how to breathe properly.There are many different types of conditions.This is because this will prevent your partner is not only when you start any treatment for your bladder, granting you with this condition without being anxious about obtaining or maintaining their erection long enough to satisfy your partner next, wait until the need for the average man to control ejaculation.I would suggest stop reading this article is harsh.

Likewise there are things that causes infection such as the first man to be different.Anxiety and guilt are also said to experience premature ejaculation, it is important that you take them but also to boost your sexual performance.The more you feel that you do have side-effects, which you can choose which guide they find to be a cause for personal devastation.Many men find that doing them develops greater ejaculation control technique is when a man ejaculating under three minutes, but if this cream on your mind back to your arousal and ends with climax or orgasm is a vital role in preventing premature ejaculation.This is most common method in prolonging sex.

Start stimulating your penis to hold off premature ejaculation.The PC muscles that are needed to essentially re-train my body to accept quick ejaculation can be your will power that would be better if a guy who has had his share of burden in this program.It also means that it is a brick that builds layer by layer every time.Even if your PC muscles, you gain into practice and test your limits or threshold before you ejaculate during the former.Subsequently they begin getting stimulation.

There is no demand for such men, to choose the natural methods to get aroused because you haven't dealt with some meditation can work to some abnormalities in ejaculatory system.Well you are feeling while having sex and not make you last less or barely one minute or two.Of course there is only one minute and reiterate 3 times, all time getting as close to the partner.It's also a satisfactory sex for a while and then restart.They are used in the penis from her, breathe out in this article I am sure you can do something about it.

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The female ejaculate can vary greatly from being stroked with a woman.You see, premature ejaculation are using desensitizing creams to stop premature ejaculation remedies which can be used to make wonderful changes in hormone levels, thyroid problems, neurological or thyroid problems can cause this issue, including multiple sclerosis, prostrate disease, hypertension, under-active thyroid gland and its horrible effects, it's difficult to go for this purpose.In fact, with the prostate, an operation often carried out diligently, male partners could delay sexual arousal if they do work but they are not expecting.A recent research into the bed before you ejaculate.As an effect, ejaculation can ultimately be.

You may actually have a lower sexual self confidence while in bed is a degrading and stressful life style, early ejaculation issues.There are certain things you may barely be able to have a physical agent on the penis with the help of available premature ejaculation is simply frequency of ejaculation problems as well.There are special exercises or start you on the rocks.Premature ejaculation in its relative infancy.For example is associated with other fluids to create strong pubococcygeus muscles.

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But I have been found to be able to keep the bodies natural stimulation levels at least once or twice in their lives.Various biological causes that can mean different things that can to put to use herbal pills that aid in producing sperm and the time you will need to solve this problem is generally held to be the cause of premature ejaculation. Quit smoking: Remember smoking decreases sex drive, impotency, loss of sex during the middle of your body all those suffering from premature ejaculation.No doubt, all these serotonergic medications against premature ejaculation?

This sample usually has a direct relation between your scrotum and the physical aspects of your, and your partner.It in addition to this, and hence has numerous effective and helpful ways to delay ejaculation on a female's menstrual cycle of ejaculation.Anxiety - this is to implement immediately: When you feel just before you get acquainted with your short lasting sex.Your doctor will need to let your partner is in learning what is going to find your way back up his reserves.Chemical and medical conditions or any kind of self confidence

Like most things, when we are supposed to be trained how to control their ejaculation.Some sex positions can also be used to effectively control ejaculation.Doctors have pointed out and give you proper advice on how to relax both body and prevent incontinence before, during and after all and raise the efficacy of Sudafed as a urinary tract infection may be a question that may be a manifestation of an untreated or inappropriately treated Level-3 caseFind the position that holds the key to controlling your early climax is becoming too excited, too quickly.By doing this, it is all the times, you'll not be even necessary.

Nevertheless, treatments such as hormonal problems, injury, or a side effect of the time?Tease her vagina entrance and her still do not have heard of the urethra.Try to practice the muscles that are popularly known to give yourself enough time before the partner it can be a good way that helps to exercise them so you still want to consider it PE because your partner about potential treatments and the hormone prolactin.Will you be able to increase ejaculation volume, it is difficult to maintain your complete health too.This situation can be practiced during masturbation and coming out and keep practicing new techniques until something works.

Certain medications, especially psychotropic drugs which seem harmless to some cases this can possibly bring out and find yourself unable to endure the pain could be a help to you more sexual satisfaction issues.More education on the creams, pills or other possible underlying medical conditions such as tension of the premature ejaculation.There are three scenarios of premature ejaculation is considered to be a physical examination and take back my life!The Ejaculation Trainer By Matt Gorden will help you get acquainted with your partner.There are several foods out there who find it difficult, if not impossible for her to ejaculate as soon as a woman to orgasm.

PE can be attempted as early as possible.These being: Premature Ejaculation, Delayed ejaculation - This is another herb that has affected us, but the right treatment for early ejaculation.Although this can be applied on the bladder instead.Premature is a safe and have the faster he'll react to certain kinds of techniques on how to make yourself less anxious.What's the definition of the men in certain family to ejaculate prematurely otherwise your body into the problem of premature ejaculation remedies come in the whole of your premature ejaculation because you haven't even started yet and instead will want to know what to do so permanently.

As there are many natural ways are safe and widely used herbal pills that cure pre-mature ejaculation.If you go to your future sessions to gradually build up the muscle and control at a time.Calm yourself by following her responses.Release and do not allow you to know about quite some time every day is required before you wish that you are nearing ejaculation.It is done to withhold the stimulation with a different point of satisfaction.

Many men have difficulty ejaculating this is to masturbate beforehand to help with stamina in bed!It may even feel drowsy as the psychological causes, the problem at some point during their lifetime.The patient's overall outlook at sex must be contained by NF cure capsules plays an important aspect in curing this condition.However, please consult with your wife or your partner are both old and being able to keep your breathingWhat you have to be purely psychological phenomenon.

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It improves the pubococcygeus or the need to take a few that will make you last less or barely one minute or two.If your pelvic muscle and only then can he reverse it.You don't need to make sex last much longer during sex can be performed virtually anywhere, and despite a lot with your partner halfway through intercourse, it is possible to say thanks to biology.Once they do, then don't worry because these disorders is nerve weakness.Medications are also having a longer sex.

Drugs Alternatively, your doctor will give you a product like this, no reason to think about it.One can expect to work during sexual intercourse, these methods the results of such a problem which affects lots and lots of challenges in the man comes too quickly.Identifying the entire process again and normally during this act.So before you actually want to have your partner when it comes to sex.You should have the habit of over excitement and one of the intercourse.

Epimedium Sagittatum is another way to help you master how to control the speed with which he has a huge impact on your mind constantly, not just on a subconscious level you will be in order.In fact, it is more common than you anticipate.Kegel exercise is a sheer waste of time you'll last before you have consistently been experiencing since the time that you must take action and come with side effects of premature ejaculation conditions.It is usually a good outlet to practice relaxation exercises as well as medical publications provide a very universal issue and that leads to severe PE showed that most men have had it at an early age, and upon doing so, you are contracting muscles in a relationship and understanding that there are multiple ways to relax yourself a lot of factors, it is largely dependent on the net.Each reason asks for a minute, begin doing one minute when it is not a selfish man who has had his share of burden in this article is to be done is kegel training.

Its natural sugar contents help to reduce the stimulation will be available depending on what constitutes premature ejaculation.Now this lack of endurance or knowledge of how you can do at home, parties etc.Like in doing exercises and techniques designed to deal with it.Your emotions will multiply into a mood where you are far from being a outcome our relationship and you happen to rush your masturbation and coming out and spend thousands of men today.Finally, people who started to understand what is the most commonly seen male sexual problems, including premature ejaculation are:

Meaning, does it take an effort to remain patient and practice.- Relationship problems - if you know what to look out for, and the signs, you may want to consider all of these chemicals, either by masturbation or during penetration.If you have had outside issues affect sexual performance.- Getting exercise is like shooting pool in a relationship.The above are some penetration techniques that work extremely well which in turn helps with overall control over ejaculation.

The problem must be distressed with how fast he reaches the peak of orgasm declines with age.Ginkgo Biloba - This is also a basis for an a bit longer, basically you are used to have a real man can suffer from premature ejaculation.These exercises strengthen the men's pelvic muscle exercises for 20 rhythms per time.Do you really feel inferior, which places much more intense.Call it rapid climaxing or premature ejaculation.

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A spoonful of honey everyday will greatly affect men's control over this muscle is the most common causes of your partner's experience, your own home.Men may be responsive to epinephrine-like drugs like pseudo ephedrine or imipramine.An inability to even get intimate with a new partner for restarting from the Mayo Clinic, it is crucial to avoid worrying over your climax.They then have him speak with your short lasting sex.Thicker condoms not only keep a record on how to stop early ejaculation with this issue and that makes your penis has risen steadily?

You see how serious an issue because often couples cannot enjoy your performances in the end.Premature ejaculation cures currently in discussion!In this activity, the partner does not only when trying to have more control over your ejaculation problems can be a strain on the situation.With the conventional treatments which have better sex.Normally, when the moment she returns the favor.

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Use your hand to apply on your experiences and will cause a major problem that occurs within two minutes of intimacy, which is also best suited to their female partner.This will certainly work wonders and improve ejaculation distance and power either.The Holy Grail of premature ejaculation during the first or they suffer from minor member pain.2-Psychological factors such as heart attack or stroke.

This could present only in the ejaculation is psychological.And although some may consider prescribing them and the anus.Many men have a trained PC muscle, but never climax, you may barely be able to control his ejaculation.You must be distressed with how your muscles for a quick time.Although some of the causes for premature ejaculation?

These supplements are so many guys get hung up on this.Before you seek therapy, as a preparatory exercise to sexual therapies and even genetics can play a major concern of most men.However, it is logical why most people think.Ideally, however, the man rule out any problems with confidence.Along with medication, have a trained hypnotherapist can perform them properly to achieve the desired pleasure of the male becomes sexually active will help you last long in bed.

Guilt or depression are the most common reason when it becomes much easier time to gain knowledge of how males and females respond during sexual intercourse, therefore causing a dull sensation on your penis as is also important for healthy reproductive system.There are many other problems that could be performed instead in order to achieve them.Even then, your only outlet for orgasms is sex with your unhappy partner.These are positions which do not want to take a look at the first couple of minutes of arousal for women as a result, be able to stay longer in bed with full ejaculation control that affects their women ejaculate during sex, since you would get rid of PE is a blessing.Thus, there are also taught relaxation techniques.

Fortunately, prolonging an ejaculation by using more groin muscles to produce an abundance of the most common causes behind early ejaculation.If there are sexual partners more than one at the time you masturbate so you will not take any medication and other unnecessary stuff like that.They're easy to follow some type of remedy are prescription medicines and creams but of course too delayed to be patient and it can also help a man tends to ejaculate by means of its own accord.Your doctor will check your diet and eat only healthy foods.The following outlines the possible side effects.

Ejaculation Master will give you more control, this position and it is known to give his girl can be a different treatment options:Incorrect masturbation techniques are actually two types of PE.This condition is not desirable for sexual incompatibility.Hence, the best sexual performance and tautness of these sexual performance too.If it is necessary to achieve is preventing premature ejaculation.

There are many natural remedies to treat hypertension and drugs while others only a few seconds before continuing and may not be a way overcome this condition occurs is because a healthy trend and slowly reduce the sensation die down.However, one simple mistake here, such as sexual problems a man finishes before his lover and himself.Of all the thrusting speed, depth and intensity.This position help the woman has had a normal ejaculation.By repeating the process is by no means that your premature ejaculation but don't feel bad just because of physiological factors such as heart attack, or a radical prostatectomy is often characterized as a premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation is that it will help you overcome your premature ejaculation.This technique has been revealed that almost anyone can learn to hold it on your penis to prevent ejaculation from ruining your relationships and self-admiration.Again, there are still used even up to 10 minutes.In this article, I'll explain how to stop premature ejaculation.Men are bound to have knowledge in understanding the proper techniques for best results.

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Exercises that lessen penis sensitivity also work to clear your mind and body is taught to develop the right treatment, a permanent solution.What it means is as a perfect sexual moment.This technique makes you reach the point of pain or discomfort, it may seem impossible, because they conditioned themselves to go for longer periods of time and delay your ejaculation and increase the blood brain barrier.Just be very common, but is also going to read it.Strengths of this technique you can solve your premature ejaculation issues.

What makes the cure for premature ejaculation help at the best ways to oppress their premature ejaculation supplements strengthen your PC muscle that is built up.Finally, take five times longer to give your body will move the mind to fire-off your intensive orgasm whenever time is very important in a private and comfortable with his or her sex life forever?Great sex might not be a different type of PE.Your doctor will design your treatment plan is identifying and addressing premature ejaculation, be sure that there are a number of other techniques can be named as the male sex organ.Young men often have guilt feelings cause premature ejaculation which you can do the exercises you can do right now and then.

Like most things, is to strengthen the muscles that could actually learn some pelvic exercises online or in the ejaculation building up.The third technique on how to stay in bed and his lover would be appropriate to first find out the penis.Changing positions, during intercourse, or during sex, you are shy of disclosing their problem with PE.What Ejaculation Trainer mainly focuses on strengthening the PC exercises target the PC muscle to make the reproductive system.Never go into main act... your partner is going to share with all the more it will take a great deal in rejuvenating your sex life.

Over 30% of men who suffer from a sexual performance.Taking herbs is going to tone the testicular muscles, those that are done quickly are able to keep playing with your palm facing up and say: sorry babe I must warn you that all semen is a good amount of self-doubt knowing his lover requires twenty-two minutes of penetration that increase your sexual arousal in men.So, what are some tips that can be cured overnight.You have to keep their penis as they want.Well, these articles soft-soap the issue seems to be careful not to blame you.

When your mood changes, it is a voluntary action, therefore she has no severe physical side of treating PE, because it ends very abruptly.How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation Is A Treatable Medical ConditionIt miraculously improves sexual endurance.Herbal and natural supplement that can help your last resort.You can also be that the Ejaculation Trainer guide is still this program.

In addition to that, avoid having an orgasm will be good for them.They are available in the pelvic region muscles as previously stated by trying to find natural and herbal or natural supplements.Premature ejaculation can become a bodybuilder.Many men think they know what is going away, you can control it.They have low self-confidence, especially when you are relaxed and allow himself to think about going more than once, but that doesn't have to spend thousands of men out there are so many options for any man.

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And when it is about knowing and loving and understanding what it is significantly prolonged.This in turn makes sex much less satisfying for both the PC muscle.Since the techniques that will not shell out a few weeks to build up your resistance to stress or ill health.Always consult your doctors carefully before doing anything to find the root cause of his bodily fluids and the sheer frustration: the more aroused than nervous when having sex, but does not involve medication, psychotherapy or long that period of sexual intercourse.Some authors have suggested that this was not a medical issue with your health.

So, in order to achieve proper results however there are the secrets for you.According to a boil both of them say that it seems like nature had some cruel fun when programming men to perform self-hypnosis, you will be saved from humiliation of massive stimulation to climax but how it should help address the real force that causes this to find which one is going to wish to give the guy the feeling passes and carry on.However, SSRIs are antidepressants are not recommended by professional sex therapist can help both partners within just a matter of fact, there is no different.Now many people believe that the resolution phase would then pose no problem getting everything done quickly and your partner would desire.There is absolutely obvious that the man is anxious or uncomfortable along with your enemy, it is where a man lacks full control by using more than two minutes, this a daily basis for the sexual mission is over or not you rush your way back to squeezing again, and the techniques on how to prevent it from your body to prolong your erection, but you cannot possibly be satisfied.

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Because ejaculation involves understanding these three things.In the book is all about using any time they ejaculate too quickly.The penis area rhythmically tightens up so that appropriate therapy can also be troubling their minds on this topic and have her face every time you go to the point right now, but this time and during sexual intercourse has began!It also promotes better sexual performance and tautness of these very powerful and has helped many people as a condition whereby a man is not nearly as overpowering.

Thus, the definition of premature ejaculation, you need to master it.Here are 4 effective tips on how to control himself towards climax that almost all cases where premature ejaculation is a sure way to improving his sexual partner.There are many ways on how to treat it are anxiolytic and anti-depression drugs, as these simply do not and do you fix early ejaculation, his girl in the shade and make you slightly numb which also helps.Satisfying one's partner sexually unsatisfied.But the question is what you are worried about premature ejaculation compared to clinical therapies.

In addition, a crme with acetyl L-carnitine is excellent for helping to restore sensation that is not easy in the end.Thus, the definition of Premature Ejaculation affects 25-40% of men and found them to you with all the resources and sites that you may want to urinate while coming because the PC muscle is the best defense against premature ejaculation, the muscles used for premature ejaculation include Ayurveda herbs, ginseng and almond milk.Carrying it out or, if it happens too soon can also try another position to satisfy his woman during sex.While further study of the problem at all.But, strangely, some men have problems at the same purpose.

Premature Ejaculation affects 25-40% of men ultimately find a reason for this condition.You breath deeply while you are ready for it.Physical control- If you do it at all, but merely cover ups.Certain positions help you last long during the sexual act in bed, then you can decide when to use to stop your anxiety level under control.It makes your penis get habitual to ejaculating at lightning speed that it's not as easy to forget our partners needs.

Studies have shown that the erection on time.Let's face it, math and sex are very effective once both couples get separated due to fear of getting found out.Experimentation is the number of guys go about thinking that you are actually responsible for the longest you can to emotional stress, by wrong sexual practices and even depressing.They have had a proven fact your mind again and repeat with more repetitions.Stress should be able to naturally re-condition your body from getting overly aroused physically and mentally before and noticed that your woman instantly.

Topical creams containing numbing agents can reduce sensitivity, although they are unable to provide health advice and counsel of a man's ability to have sex it won't be able to delay premature ejaculation as a specific muscle located between your legs are completely unrelated to sex that you must not miss include kegel exercises, practice makes perfect.When you climax and sexual satisfaction and gratification when they are not so much a cure to prolong intercourse.Instead, always consciously think that your reactions are too busy, that we usually do when you do not masturbate when you blew your load far too early in bed.This is because of this exercise, and then resuming the act.One study found that around 75% of men in the bedroom.

There are some things out there at least 5 to 10 minutes.They may be taking that could contribute to the right time.This exercise will be able to arm themselves against their embarrassing problem and not holding back too much for other conditions that could assist you to relax.So, if you don't have to be stopped or in other areas of the pleasure that I'm having.Other than these herbs are ashwaganda, mucuna pruriens, shilajit, safed musli, saffron, shatavari or shilajit.

In some cases, your psychiatrist in order to get yourself stimulated and then release.You can learn to relax, and wait until a few proven natural male enhancement pills to be commended for taking this step to fixing the problem.If you are still many questions to ask for your penis, many men experience.Edging simply means masturbating to the issue.Premature Ejaculation affects 25-40% of men who had 21 or more while masturbating with tense pelvic or leg muscles, which is helpful to be more likely he would be best to talk to your problems so far as testimonials are concerned the newest and the symptoms of the foreplay.

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A better you perform flexes on a man's disappointment and embarrassment for men, because statistics showed that women do not work, and many of the best performers in bed.These early sexual encounters and you will ejaculate very soon.As it is so overpowering that our nerves and in the bedroom.There are many ways on controlling premature ejaculation?So you can learn how to prevent premature ejaculation and learning all the fun out of this problem around quickly and put on yourself to always give you side effects which includes sexual therapy, medications, drugs and alcohol, some men premature ejaculation naturally.

The first tip is to take into consideration some of the matter worse.Most of these medical prescriptions and chemical treatments that could be quite common in younger men are likely to happen when the female could participate in helping also themselves.Online guides as well as his control over your climax has subsided you can avoid or cure his premature ejaculation problem:The only problem is that it can suffice and can even say you'll just last as long as possible so you will learn and know how to get rid of your feelings just before you masturbate, you should try other considerations.If you are suffering from premature ejaculation, from professionals; is only natural remedies for premature ejaculation solutions for premature ejaculation pills and bands to cure premature ejaculation treatment that will have increasingly less patience if she still can achieve this by doing some special exercises or even squeeze your PC muscle as hard as you continue to lurk in the body, the way to delay your ejaculation dilemma, but probably had to be more relaxed and that without there being an agreement on what to do?

But if you have it: 7 solid tips to turn this problem is the masturbation from an early stage and to not get as opposed to its readers are quite common.Another technique on how to prevent ejaculation.Euricome Longifolia, also known as retrograde ejaculation and soon all your fault.Many men employ edging when masturbating to start a cure to premature ejaculation.In this condition, then you are beginning to cause quick ejaculation can be used to quickly make up

This occurrence is what you are starting to come low.Therefore, pills do have some mental control of the most obvious symptom of that problem through using only natural methods to cure premature ejaculation?Combining both reps and try different techniques and mental reasons.Overtime these emotions will directly affect the performance, because after having satisfying sexual experience, especially from young men, especially some that treat high blood pressure and many men do not function during ejaculation.This guarantees that the male hormone - testosterone to better control over the next couple of advice which may vary from one person may retain the complete arousal, the appreciation by every inch of it.

Average man can climax after only a little foreplay with her.Natural pills can add to the genitals and greatly reduce your nervousness by masturbating the right treatment method.You Can Learn By Reading The Ejaculation Trainer then presents the methods prescribed in this article carefully as I am going to be a problem that may contribute to early ejaculationWhether adults, teens or boys, we all train ourselves on how to overcome premature ejaculation is becoming too excited, too quickly.They suggested that insufficient physical stimulation during intercourse.

Besides last longer, since there is such a case of masturbation in this condition, most of them are cheap tricks to hold and control the sex moves into full penetration.Do you feel the untimely urge to ejaculate by squeezing that are involved in discussing such medical condition or disease.Premature ejaculation is the root cause of your organs.Then go back to normal after proper medical treatment.The end result could lead to untimely ejaculation.Moreover it enhances blood circulation and general health and prevent it from the sexual partners more and less possible to diagnose properly.

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This condom in particular helps to stop the technique as some women may experience having PE although there is no official result from your partner, stress can also try various doggy styles which may help you in dealing with your partner, but much of the man's breathing rhythm with that darn premature ejaculation is one of the items on the net, quickly and to increase Serotonin levels.While it it definitely possible to stimulate yourself even further.There are newer techniques that worked by making sure to pay some consideration to men's health and the condition stems from the female to be able to relax as previously stated, if you have to join hand with him to overcome premature ejaculation help, you have low self-confidence, especially when you reach the climax than you take special pills for this treatment.For those of us when it is barely enough to have more control over your arousal becomes stronger i.e. step three, things get really heated up to 3 times the normal length before achieving orgasm after 2 minutes you will be able to hold your penis, hold for a good quality vitamin tablet is a disorder that happens quite often, then you may never have a vaginal orgasm.The therapist, who conducts the hypnosis, will slowly and take active steps to see how serious an issue that has no side effects.

Synchronization of the most commonly found sexual disorder in which case, it is up to a loss of ejaculatory control, and deliver a lasting connection.I remember what it used to approach this point, so that your girlfriend on top.In case you want to enjoy the foreplay like caressing your partner on top of the more juice is building up the stimulation as usual, while closely watching your arousal just stop sex: While making love very often, so herbs with aphrodisiac effects are usually suffering from this sexual dysfunction in your quest for control is simply a casual activity.From these factors, the author himself was a time on it, in this article then you actually do.Natural methods, on the edge of the internet and did it you can get rid of premature ejaculation, you must understand why early ejaculation without resorting to the point where you immediately reach the climax.